


The Silk Fan

by Omoni



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2010-10-25
Updated: 2010-11-23
Packaged: 2017-10-12 21:19:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 41,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/129197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Omoni/pseuds/Omoni
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Since nothing is known about Suki's background, this fic is an attempt to shed some light on the leader of the Kyoshi Warriors, a guess as to how her past could have been.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

  


When Suki was born, it wasn't monumental.

She was born to a middle-class family, close to the sea. Her family was medium in size; her parents, her two older sisters, and herself.

She was born on a spring day, when the sky was overcast. She opened her eyes and looked into the eyes of her mother, her sisters, and later, her father.

Everything about Suki suggested mediocrity. Her name, her looks, the day, time, and year she was born, the fact that she was the last of three...all things suggested that she would be nothing more than the healer's daughter, born and raised in the trade, and that she would stay in the small town she was born, get married to a nice village boy, have some kids, and pass away an old crone.

No one in their wildest dreams ever thought that she would become what she became.

That is, no one, except Suki herself.

  



	2. One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writer's Note: Hello, and welcome to what I like to call the Saga of Suki! I want to flesh Suki out, give her a tribute that she completely deserves as well as shed light on one possible past that she could have had.
> 
> Please note how much I emphasis "could have had". Since Suki's past isn't given within the series, I've had to use serious license in formulating a background for her. Thus, everything written here is pure invention. I don't own Suki, or the rights to her character. I'm just trying to give the poor girl some love.
> 
> With all of that said, enjoy!

Regardless of any nation, the sun is one of life's biggest staples. You depended on it every day to rise, be you a bender or a regular, Fire Nation or Water Tribe, farmer or merchant. It's one of those things that get easily taken for granted.

One of Suki's earliest memories was of the sun. For some reason, she found it hard to ignore. She could never sleep in. Once the sun's rays fell through the open window and onto her face, regardless of season, she felt warm and giddy and _alive,_ with no hopes of going back to sleep once her eyes opened.

This would irritate her sisters to no end. Their home was small, thus all three daughters of Amako and Fonil shared one room. Her older sisters, Ritu and Niya, went to the school in the village proper, and therefore became extremely irate when Suki woke them up to go outside before they were _supposed_ to be awake. It was even worse when Suki hadn't quite gotten the hang of sneaking out without stepping on either of them, as well.

When she was six years old, the earliest she could remember, one morning she felt that all-familiar caress of sun warmth on her cheeks, and she shot up like a daisy out of the grass. Carefully, she crawled out of her bedroll and tiptoed over the forms of her sisters, her tiny and somewhat lanky body not making so much as a whisper of sound.

Once she cleared the room, Suki fled out of the house, her face alight with pure delight. It was already warm, and while her village had its share of hot days, truly warm and enjoyable ones like this were rare at best. She grinned, ran into the front yard, and threw her arms out like a windmill. It was a beautiful, clear and sunny spring day, one that seemed full of promise and fun. With a giggle, Suki tore off her socks, flung them towards the front door, and dashed further into the field, the cool morning grass caressing the soles of her feet.

Suki's village, while small, wasn't impoverished. It paid to be a ways south of Omashu, in a seemingly deserted area nestled between rock and ocean. No matter where you turned, there was always, save north, a strip of sea to greet you on the horizon.

Thus, her village thrived on both city goods and fishing. What could be found came from Omashu, and took several days to bring back, but what was brought lasted a long time, and that counted for something. And, despite the fact that the village wasn't one for tourist attractions, there were two things that brought travellers into the boundaries.

One was the view. The village boasted one of the most spectacular views in the Earth Kingdom. From the tantalising peaks of Omashu to the yawning masses of water to the south, most inner-city types frequented the village when their lifestyles became too taxing on them in order to relax.

The second was Suki's father, a shadow of a man whom she hardly ever saw. He was one of the most skilled healers outside of Ba Sing Se and the Water Tribes, and as a result was often on the road for housecalls. He was gone for weeks, sometimes months at a time, and for Suki, he was practically a stranger.

However, Suki's sisters and mother more than made up for his absence. Ritu, the oldest, was like a second mother, being six years older than Suki. She was always herding Suki and Niya, who was three years older than Suki. When their mother had to work, it was Ritu who cooked and cleaned, and it was Ritu who showed the most strength other than her mother. Suki loved Ritu and depended on her, but also found her intense, stressed-out, and somewhat overbearing and bossy.

Niya was different. She was crass, outspoken, and downright troublesome. She often came home proudly displaying scathing notes from teachers or the occasional black eye. Despite this, she was incredibly smart, so the teachers put up with her antics. Suki admitted Niya's brazen wit and fearlessness, but found that she lacked compassion and consideration for anyone around her, even Suki herself. Still, it was never a dull moment with Niya around, that was for sure.

Her mother was her hero. She worked as a merchant in the village square, selling the occasional fare from their garden as well as any knickknacks and valuables snagged cheap from Omashu. And yet, despite how much attention her work demanded, she was always there for her daughters, always willing to listen and step in and be the parent, as well as comfort and play like a friend.

On this day, Suki's mother, Amako, was already long gone. On the days that the older girls didn't go to day school, she was up before dawn and on the road to Omashu in order to get a jump-start on other merchants and bag the best deals. She returned at dusk with a cartload of goods and a tired smile, and Suki and her sisters often stayed up late into the night, sifting through the treasures and guessing how much money they would bring in. It was definitely something she was looking forward to.

Suki only stopped running when she found herself in a complete patch of grass, utterly surrounded by the stuff. She uttered another giggle and dropped like a stone onto the blanket of grass. Threading her fingers and toes through it, she breathed in the crisp morning air and shut her eyes.

Because it wasn't a school day, Suki knew she didn't have long until Ritu herself woke up and, in turn, woke the whole village with her shouts for Suki to come back and help with chores. Despite this, it didn't stop her from enjoying the moment, however fleeting it was. She exhaled, deeply, listening to the morning sounds; birdsong, carts on the dirt roads, shops opening their doors...she was far away enough to be alone, but close enough to relish in the village's simple busyness.

A shadow fell over her, blocking the sun out and forcing her eyes to snap open in surprise. "Oh, it's Amako's girl," the shadow said, the tone of voice bored.

Suki glowered, instantly feeling a flash of frustration bite into her. It was Ranku, the village troublemaker (if you discounted Niya, who, while troublesome, never resorted to initiating violence like Ranku) and constant tormentor of Suki.

She wasn't the type of kid to pick a fight, but when provoked, she realised that she had quite a short fuse. "Get out of my sunlight, Ranku," she grumbled, sitting up and scooting a few feet away from him.

Ranku was a short skinny boy of seven, with somewhat stringy red hair and narrow green eyes. He always looked as if he was angry about something, even when surrounded by things that made normal people happy. Suki, apparently, made him _extremely_ angry.

He leaned over, getting in the way again. "What's the big deal, _Puki_?" he sneered. "It's not like the sun's gonna vanish if you don't get up for it."

Suki shot to her feet, clenched her fists, and bit her lip. She could feel her cheeks go red and her body flood with anger. All she wanted to do was pummel the snot out of the older boy.

But then, she also knew how much trouble she would be in if she allowed herself the luxury and Ritu found out about it; she would tell Amako, who, in turn, would put Suki to bed early and ban her from the weekly goods rummage. It just wasn't worth it, really, no matter how satisfying the idea seemed.

So instead of thrusting her fist into his upturned nose, she turned away and started back towards her house without another word.

Ranku's hand shot out and grabbed her ponytail. She squawked, reaching up to prise his fingers away, stumbling a little and trying to regain her balance. Ranku tugged, wrapping the ponytail around his hand for a sure grip, and once she staggered back, used the momentum to toss her to the ground. She landed, hard, with a yelp onto her back, and he laughed triumphantly. With a final tug that brought tears to her eyes, he released her hair and started back on his way, chuckling the whole time.

Suki burned with humiliation and fury. She lay on her back, her scalp throbbing, tears running down her cheeks. Despite the adrenaline that made her feel invisible, she just couldn't muster up the drive to get back to her feet and beat the daylights out of him. She knew she was too small and too weak, and worst of all, she didn't even know _how._ So, instead, she lay there, shut her eyes, and cried into the grass.

Ritu's calls came before she had run out of tears, but it didn't matter. For now, Suki felt a little better, so it was enough. Slowly, she sat up, wiped her face on the front of her shirt, and got to her feet, breaking into a run and heading towards home.

Ritu's face twisted with shock and disapproval when she saw Suki. Her own appearance was immaculate, her gold curls pinned back and her clothes pressed and clean. "What happened to you?" she demanded, blocking Suki in the doorway with her taller body. She was twelve, but she was strong, and when it came to herding her sisters, she knew how to use it.

Suki sighed and tried to slip past her, but Ritu wouldn't give her an opening wide enough. Suki growled, feeling the morning's frustrations build up in her. "I fell, so please get out of my way, stupid!" She thrust her hands out and pushed Ritu as hard as she could. It wasn't enough to force the sturdy girl out of the doorway, but she lost her balance a bit, which allowed Suki to slip past, finally.

Niya was already at the table, eating feverishly. Her grey-green eyes danced at the sight of her younger sister's messy hair and dirt-smudged clothes. "Pretending to be a bender again, Suki?" she wondered, her mouth full of food.

Suki scowled. "I don't do that anymore!" And she hadn't, not since it was definite that she lacked the talent. (None of the girls were benders.) She managed to grab some of the food away from Niya, who was trying to hoard it all for herself. Niya fought her, and the two bickered until Ritu flicked them both and divided the food up evenly between them.

"I bet you fought with Ranku!" Niya suddenly burst out, her head coming up so fast that a lock of her black-brown hair landed in her juice. When Suki froze and lowered her head, Niya crowed. "You idiot!"

"I didn't fight with him!" Suki protested. "He grabbed my ponytail and shoved me! I tried to walk away, like Mom tells us to!" She turned to Ritu, whose arms were crossed, her face a mask of sternness. "I didn't mean to! I swear!"

"You said you _fell!_ You lied! You liar!"

"Niya," Ritu said flatly, and the other girl shut up. "You did say that, Suki."

"I _did_ fall; he _pushed_ me!" Suki's eyes filled with tears, the ones that she hadn't had the chance to shed. "I shouldn't be yelled at when I was the one that got pushed!"

Ritu scowled. "Someone needs to smack a lesson into that boy," she said, and Suki felt relief flood through her; nothing was worse than telling the truth and being thought a liar.

Niya shrugged casually. "I could take 'im," she declared, her words muffled by food.

Ritu reached over and gave one of Niya's unruly locks of frizzy hair a sharp tug. It brought a grunt from her, but the warning was received; that much was clear with how sullen Nita's face looked. Ritu looked over to Suki. "You were right not to fight back, Suki."

Suki felt a jolt of frustration bite into her again. She put her chopsticks down, losing her appetite all of a sudden. "I wish I _had_ fought back," she muttered, her eyes downcast. "I wish I _had_ been the one to teach him a lesson."

Niya snorted. She reached over and grabbed Suki's bowl, digging right into the leftovers. Suki didn't care. She felt so upset that she didn't want to eat. "You're too much of a pushover, Suki," Niya announced. Suki looked up at her with a glare, but her sister laughed in her face. "You are! You give off 'victim' vibes, and that's why he picks on you."

Suki felt all of the blood rush to her face, and she could feel herself shaking with her anger. All of a sudden, she felt a blazing, furious rage, a sense of injustice that spread up and down her body. Because she knew, in her gut, that Niya was _right_ , that she was too small. She didn't fight back, but only because she didn't know _how_ , not because she wanted to be a victim!

Ritu suddenly reached over and placed a hand on the top of Suki's head, like a cap. Suki looked up, right into Ritu's clear green eyes, and saw that at least her eldest sister didn't see her as a wimp, not in the same way that Niya did. "We'll work it out," Ritu promised. "Mom could talk to Ranku's mother, or something. Okay?"

Suki nodded slowly, feeling somewhat mollified by this plan. She was still very upset, and still felt the lingering sting of Niya's humiliating words, but she tucked it away, for now, for what she hoped would be for good.

But it would come back, and it would change everything when it did.


	3. Two

While sightings were rare, everyone knew about the Island of Avatar Kyoshi, even a small village like Suki's. Some towns had rather despairing opinions about Kyoshi Island – something about a conqueror – but most were either indifferent or on good terms with the independent island.

Indeed, Kyoshi often kept to itself. Its inhabitants were rumoured to be under a matriarchy, a place where the most promising and prestigious young girls were trained as the Kyoshi Warriors, a martial art so mysterious and deadly that no outsider knew any details of the deadly art, but rather, only its results.

Suki's earliest exposure to these fearsome women were rare at best, and usually involved rumours or horror stories (it took her a whole month to stop shivering whenever she saw a fan, thanks to Niya's retelling of the horror story, "The Phantom of the Island of Kyoshi"), none of which gave her any real indication or insight about the real Warriors and what they represented.

The first time she actually saw a Kyoshi Warrior was in the market. She was on her way to see her mother, at Ritu's demand, in order to find out when the next visit to Omashu was so that she could request a few things (and by a few things she meant a list – which Suki now held in her hand). Ritu was starting to care about – in Suki's opinion – _really stupid things_ , like appearances, and _boys,_ and the list of items were rather embarrassing as a result. Still, when Amako was working, Ritu was queen, and as the youngest, Suki was the one to do the errands.

It was already a hot, humid day. The summer air was thick with dust and bugs, and even the air around the waters was vile. Suki hated the heat and wished she was spending the day swimming instead of running around in the stink of the market.

 _Afterwards,_ Suki thought hopefully, already imagining the water. _After I'll spend the whole day in the water until I turn a wrinkled up like a prune!_

The thoughts kept her going, and by the time she reached the square, she was soaked in her own sweat but still hopeful; she was halfway there!

A flash of green, white, and gold stopped her in her tracks. Her eyes went wide, and without realising it, she had frozen in place.

Before her stood two women, so seemingly tall in their green robes and leather armour. Despite the heat of the day, they looked dry and comfortable, although their sleeves were tied back to reveal tanned and lean arms. One woman, the shortest, had bristle-short brown hair (Suki had never seen anything like it on a girl before). She wore a beautiful, crown-like golden headpiece that was tied around her forehead, complete with tassels that hung down to her chest. She was stocky-looking, muscular and solidly built, like you could push on her with all of your might and never even make her stagger. Her eyes held a hard light.

Her companion was tall and thin. Her long black hair was tied around an elaborate gold hairplate, and her headpiece was smaller and somewhat less extravagant than her friend's. She looked the picture of optimism, with a permanent smile and a hand hovering close to her mouth. Her wide brown eyes danced with laughter unspent.

Both had their faces painted in immaculate makeup. Their skin was painted a flawless white down to the neck, their brows were charcoal black, and their lips and eyelids were stained blood-red. It was shocking to see, but for some reason, it wasn't frightening. Just...different.

Suki stood, transfixed. The paper in her hand was forgotten. All she could see before her was _not_ the scary baby-snatchers that Niya had tried to describe to her. Nor did she see the snotty, self-interested wenches that the market women saw.

What she saw was exactly what she wanted to _be_.

That confidence, that ease with which each woman held themselves... _They must have never run away from anyone in all of their lives,_ she thought, her mouth dry.

"Hey, old man," the shorter woman said, her voice gruff. She squinted a little at Old Man Joshi, the apple seller, but it wasn't a mean look (somehow, Suki could tell). She held up an apple. "Can you recommend a good pie recipe?"

Joshi clapped his hand together, his face a sudden mask of pure pleasure. "Ah, Warrior Burin, you have certainly come to the right place!"

Burin's companion giggled into her hand. "Ah, old man, how do we know you won't cheat us?"

Joshi looked offended. "The Warriors of Kyoshi are _always_ given the best prices and the best recipes, Warrior Duree! I can promise you that!"

Burin smiled slyly, her grey eyes sparkling a little. "Oh, can you, now?"

"Hey, Amako's girl!"

Suki jumped, startled out of her reverie. She turned towards the voice and saw that Auntie Morgi was waving to her. Morgi was the perfume merchant, and had been for as long as anyone could remember. She was something of a legend, since despite her years of expertise; Morgi's scents were actually more like _stenches_. But somehow, she stayed open, selling most of her wares to tourists who took pity on her.

"Your mama's over that way, girl!" Morgi pointed behind her, speaking so loud that Amako could probably hear her.

Of course, Suki already _knew_ where her mother was; she was seven, yes, but she wasn't an idiot. However, she had always been taught to respect her elders – no matter how nosy – and thus she nodded and thanked Morgi.

However, as she turned towards her mother's stall, she didn't miss the sudden interest with which the two Kyoshi Warriors watched her run away. At the time, she had been mortified, as if caught doing something terribly wrong. It wasn't until a few years later that she realised just how important that look had been.

When Suki reached her mother, she was breathless and bright red. Wordlessly, she held out the grubby and slightly damp slip of paper to her mother, who took it with some confusion. It was only when Amako opened it did she understand.

"Ah, my Ritu..." Amako sighed, pocketing the list. "Always getting too big for her skirts."

"She's stupid," Suki found herself muttering. She was still embarrassed about Morgi's big mouth and had to let it out somehow. "And so are boys."

Amako laughed, one of her big laughs that Suki really liked. With a big hand, she reached forward and ruffled Suki's bangs affectionately. Suki felt her anger die out, and she giggled, squirming under the sudden 'attack'.

"Is there anything that _you_ want, precious Suki?" Amako wondered, kneeling down and looking right into her eyes.

Suki shook her head a little, then paused. Her mind suddenly flashed back to the Kyoshi Warriors, and she ducked her head shyly, subconsciously poking her two index fingers together. "Uhm," she murmured. "Maybe...a yellow fold-out fan?"

Amako blinked, bemused. "That's all? Those are pretty easy to find. Are you sure you don't want something fancier?"

Suki shook her head, her eyes downcast. "Just a yellow fan."

She hovered around her mother for a while longer, then ran back the way she came. If she were to admit it to herself, she was eager to see the Warriors again, if only to watch them from afar, as if to soak in some of that confidence and bravery that seemed to envelope them.

But when she rushed past the perfume stall, she saw that they were gone, and somehow that hurt alot more than she would have guessed it could.

Joshi looked over and must have seen how woebegone she looked, and he held an apple out to her. "Little Suki, eat up!" he said kindly. "You'll be big and strong in no time!"

Wordlessly, she took the fruit. When her fingers closed around it, all she could think of was how those warriors had done the same thing moments ago.

She smiled, took a rather aggressive bite, and bowed her thanks to Joshi before jumping into a fierce run. As she ran, she pushed the whole afternoon from her mind, eager to focus on swimming and washing away the heat and dust of the day.

With a scream, fully clothed, she tossed the apple core into the air and leapt into the water. The cold, crisp feel of the water seemed to soak into her skin and sooth her very bones. Gleefully, giggling, she paddled around, dunking her head under for a while before splashing up again.

Suki was a fantastic swimmer. While it was necessary to know how to swim in their village, no one but Suki had taken such a joy and ease in learning how to do it. Suki swam as often as she could, even when the long winter nights were close by (something that drove Amako nuts, due to how cold it sometimes became) and it was no small wonder that she was skilled at it.

She floated around for a hour, which was how long it took her to feel cool and refreshed. She dragged herself out with a huge grin on her face, wringing out her clothes and hair a little before just leaving them to dry, still wearing them, under the sun.

Stretching a little, Suki started back towards her home, knowing that she was in for a lecture but discovering that she didn't really care too much.

At first, she didn't even know what had happened. All that she knew was that, all of a sudden, her head hurt and that she was on the ground, face-first in the grass. It was only when she felt a heavy weight slam down on her back – effectively pinning her to the ground – that she realised that Ranku had found her and ambushed her.

A flash of anger so potent filled her from head to toe. It was like standing too close to a fire – it felt sudden, too hot and unavoidable. Suki's hands clenched the grass beneath her tightly and she gritted her teeth. _I am so_ sick _of this..._

Ranku was saying something, something that he probably considered scathing and witty, but Suki didn't hear it. All she could hear was the furious pounding of her heart and the roaring of her rage in her ears. She should teach him a lesson. She should push him away, make him pay...

 _But..._

She shut her eyes tight, squeezing out hot tears of frustration. _But this isn't the way. Violence is a_ last _resort, not the first. The Fire Nation's tyranny is proof of that._

"Get off me, Ranku," she managed to choke out, her voice muffled.

"No," Ranku answered, pushing down on her back harder with his foot, and she grunted out. "I think I'm going to stick around and see how long it will take to crack that snotty, wise-assed – _hey!_ "

Ranku uttered a sound akin to a shriek and a whine, and suddenly the weight from Suki's back was gone. Thinking that it was part of his game, she scrambled to her feet before Ranku got a second wind. What she actually saw before her made her freeze in her tracks.

The two Kyoshi Warriors from the market stood before her. Burin held Ranku by the back of his shirt, her grip like steel, as the boy tried to squirm out of her grasp. Duree was giggling behind her hand, but Suki sensed that, while the laughter wasn't cruel, it also wasn't nice.

Burin, however, looked absolutely furious. She shook Ranku by his collar roughly. "What kind of stunt are you pulling, boy?" she snapped, her voice low with fury. "When someone says to back off, _you back off!_ "

Duree nodded, her eyes hard despite the smile. "Especially when it's so obvious that she's much, much smaller than you, and yet so obviously able to best you."

Ranku's face went scarlet from such a suggestion, but while his mouth gaped open several times in protest, no sound came out.

Burin shoved Ranku away, letting go of his collar as she did so. The boy stumbled a bit from momentum but didn't fall. "Get out of here," the Kyoshi Warrior hissed. "Go bother your parents."

To Suki's surprise, Ranku actually talked back. "You think you're so special with your fans and stupid makeup-,"

He almost swallowed his tongue when, lightning-fast, Burin slid into a stance and flicked open both of her golden, metal-like fans. Her eyes were hard and focused on him. Duree giggled again, the hand that wasn't at her mouth hovering at her hip. She fingered the hilt of her sword carefully, her eyes also on Ranku.

At that, Ranku finally lost his nerve. He spun around and ran in the opposite direction, letting loose a high-pitched and terrified scream that Suki would never have imagined could have come from him.

Burin closed her fans and concealed them in the sash tied around her waist, standing up straight and smiling a little. Duree giggled yet again. "That was so perfect," she said, her voice musical with her amusement. "You may have just guaranteed him nightmares for life, Burin."

"Meh, the least I can do," was Burin's dry reply. To Suki's dismay, Burin turned to her and met her gaze. "Are you alright?" she asked, her voice still gruff but not unkind. "We saw him just spring up on you as we turned the corner. Why didn't you fight back?"

Suki felt herself shaking. It wasn't that she was scared – not exactly. It was more like she could sense just how much power Burin had, and it made her feel very small and stupid (especially since, thanks to Ranku's assault, she was wet, muddy, and covered in grass).

"Because," she stammered, fidgeting with her wet shirt "Because violence...it's not always good."

It was a lame answer, and she winced, knowing it. Burin and Duree, however, exchanged glances; Burin's eyebrows went up and Duree grinned. The dark-haired girl turned to Suki. "How old are you?" she asked.

"S-seven," she admitted.

"Too young," Burin muttered.

Duree turned back to her. "We could always make an exception, you know."

Burin shook her head, and Duree frowned. However, she seemed to concede to whatever Burin's point was, because she didn't press it any further.

Suki took advantage of the short silence. "Th-thank you so much for helping me," she stuttered over the words, her face burning. She bowed stiffly, feeling like a wooden doll.

"What's your name?" Duree asked, ignoring Burin's dark look.

"Suki."

Duree smiled, knelt down, and placed a gloved hand on Suki's narrow shoulder. It was warm, and strong. "I'm Duree, and she's Burin."

"I know," Suki blurted. "I saw you in the market, with Old Man Joshi."

"The apple man," Burin snorted. "That man is such a lecherous goat-dog."

Suki blinked. "What's lecherous?"

Duree rolled her eyes. "Good job, Burin," she answered. With a more serious look, her brow eyes met Suki's, and for a moment she thought she was going to get a lecture. "Listen, Suki. What you did back there was the right thing to do. _Never_ use violence unless you _must_. Even we, as Kyoshi Warriors, know and respect this rule. Do you understand?"

Suki nodded slowly. She really did, deep down to the core.

Duree smiled again, squeezed Suki's shoulder, then let go, rising to her full height. She looked to Burin. "All set?" When the other girl nodded, together, they started back on their way, following the dirt road to the boatyards on the other side of the village.

Halfway down the road, Burin suddenly called out, "See you in a year, Brave Suki!"

She watched them for as long as she could see them. When they faded into the green, she felt herself breathe again. Slowly, she turned in the opposite direction, towards home.

It wasn't until hours later that she remembered what Burin had shouted. And for a whole year, she didn't understand what they meant.

But she would.


	4. Three

The year she turned eight was a year that held a lot of surprises for Suki.

The first was the fact that, after two years of sporadic visits and occasional stays, Fonil, Suki's father, had actually come home and stayed for more than a month,. It was a drastic change, and it took time to get used to, but the women of Suki's family were always of the strong, adaptable kind, and within no time, it felt like he had always been there.

Fonil was a quiet, private man, prone to spending hours in his office at the back of his house, poring over medical texts, formulas, and the like.

Suki was shy around Fonil, not out of personal dislike, but because it was so strange to have an adult male in the house on a regular basis.

However, Suki's love of the sun was something from Fonil, and because of this, their paths would cross, first out of awkwardness, but then out of expectation.

At first Fonil would try very hard to engage in conversation with his youngest daughter, with mixed results.

"So, you start school this year?" he asked over their shared breakfast.

Suki scrunched up her face in displeasure. "Yeah, and it's really boring."

Fonil was surprised. "Boring?"

"Yeah," she agreed, her voice muffled by the toast in her mouth. "Everything they teach is stuff I already know. It's _boring._ And everyone else is so _stupid_."

"You shouldn't say things like that about your peers," Fonil said, his soft voice somewhat stern.

Suki's gaze met his, utterly bemused. "Dad, they don't even know _math_ ," she elaborated, a few crumbs falling from her lips.

Fonil blinked slowly. "Oh. That is...sort of strange. Aren't parents supposed to teach that before sending their children to school?"

"I dunno," she shrugged. She got to her feet and, without another word, ran out to greet the sun, leaving Fonil somewhat out of the loop.

That was one of the more successful days, until a week before Suki's birthday, the day she would turn eight.

She was lying in the grass, her eyes closed and her fingers threading in and out of the new spring grass. She had been blissing out on the feel of the sun and the grass when a shadow fell over her. She tensed, thinking it was Ranku (who, since Burin tossed him away, hadn't bothered her since), but she was surprised to find that it was actually Fonil.

"Oh! Dad!" she cried, starting to sit up. To her surprise, with a big sigh, Fonil flopped to the ground and lay down next to her, shutting his eyes and breathing in deeply. She blinked, somewhat confused, but when a whole minute passed without attempts at awkward conversation, she lay back down and shut her eyes as well. She was surprised to discover that Fonil was actually really good company, especially when he stayed quiet.

It was the start of a wonderful morning routine, one that lasted a week. It was broken the day of Suki's birth.

The day had started out like any other birthday for Suki: raining. Suki woke to the sound of heavy rain upon the roof instead of the sun in her eyes, and she was actually okay with it; it always rained on her birthday. It was a hazard of a springtime birth, yes, but it also allowed her to sleep in a bit longer than usual.

While the sound of the rain was enough to wake her, it was the smell of breakfast that roused her from her bed. It was her favourite breakfast: eggs, turkey-duck sausages, waffles, and hashbrowns. Happily, Suki leapt from her bed, stepped around her sisters, and ran down the stairs. She didn't bother to dress of brush her hair, figuring that her mother was the only one awake and that she would have time to do it later.

Suki ran into the kitchen with a smile and a squeal, expecting her breakfast already served and ready for her nestled in a circle of presents, as was the tradition.

What she found, instead, was her father, mother, and two Kyoshi Warriors in the kitchen.

Suki stopped in her tracks, feeling the blood rush to her feet. She stared, speechless, in the doorway of the kitchen, unable to move or to even think properly.

"You see, ladies?" Fonil said, smiling at his frozen daughter with fondness. "What did I tell you? Make Suki's favourite food and she'll come running."

Suki realised, slowly, that these two Warriors weren't strangers.

Burin grinned, patting her middle. "A girl who knows the importance of good food is a girl I can understand," she chuckled.

"Oh, my, she's gotten taller," Duree said behind her hand, her eyes a pair of happy crescents. "I owe you ten silver coins, Burin."

Amako, sensing Suki's distress, set the spatula aside and walked over to her, placing a hand on the top of her head like a cap. Slowly, Suki looked up, bewildered, and her mother smiled. "Happy eighth birthday, Suki," she said softly. "Apparently we're not the only ones who wanted to celebrate it with you."

"Hey there, Brave Suki," Burin said cheerfully, her smile wide. "Didn't I tell you we would see you in a year?"

Suki realised suddenly that she had, and that somehow, she just hadn't really processed it. She blinked slowly. "But...how did you know it was my birthday?" she wondered, her voice small.

Duree giggled. "We heard the perfume seller call you 'Amako's girl'. It doesn't take much to put it all together and ask around."

Fonil met Suki's eyes. "I told them. I was on my way home when our paths crossed."

Amako raised an eyebrow at her husband. This was apparently news to her as well. He shrugged, smiling at his youngest girl. "I knew the moment I saw your little yellow paper fan that you were smitten."

Suki reddened, especially when both Burin and Duree giggled. It was only when she looked closely at them that they weren't laughing _at_ her, but _with_ her. She smiled faintly.

Amako gently took hold of Suki by her shoulders and steered her over to the table, sitting her down. "Eat," she commanded. Suki picked up her fork shyly, looking at the Kyoshi Warriors from under her lashes. She ate slowly.

Burin waited until Amako was seated before speaking. "Basically, we're here because, above all, we want Suki to come with us to Kyoshi Island."

Suki almost choked. She looked up in shock.

Amako and Fonil, however, were far calmer. "For what reason?" Amako asked easily.

"We want her to train with us," Duree replied, her face unusually sombre. "We want her to be one of us."

And now Suki was choking.

After a few slaps on the back and a drink of milk, Suki gasped out, "You want me to _what_?"

Duree giggled, but Burin met her eyes straight-on. "Join us, Suki," she replied.

Suki felt something deep within her quiver, but with what, she had no idea.

"Why do you want someone from outside of the island?" Fonil asked, sounding puzzled. "Don't you usually train the girls raised there?"

Burin smiled, rubbing the back of her head a little. "Do _I_ look like a Kyoshi girl?" she wondered. When no one answered, she went on. "Outsiders are recruited all the time, especially if they have the guts and the stuff." She jerked her thumb towards Suki. "Your daughter has it. We saw it for ourselves."

Amako narrowed her eyes, turning to her youngest daughter. "Were you and Ranku fighting again?"

Suki blushed, looking away. "He started it," she mumbled.

"It's true," Duree agreed. "We saw the whole thing. He ambushed her, but even though it was clear she could have taken him, she asked him to leave her alone, instead. _Asked him._ As in, exercising all of her options first before resorting to violence."

"That, and that alone, is the true marrow of what makes the Kyoshi Warriors," Burin agreed. "We use our opponent's force against them, and resort to aggression and violence when all else fails. Suki is, at heart, already halfway there. It would be a waste to leave her here."

The words were blunt, and instantly Suki felt both shame and sadness fill her from them. Shame, because it was true and there was much more than just this simple town, and sadness, because in the end, somehow, she knew that she would have to leave it all behind, and that her family would not have such a luxury.

Suddenly she wasn't too hungry. She pushed her food away.

Fonil reached over and placed his hand on her head, gently, and when she looked up, she saw that he was smiling kindly. Despite everything, she felt herself smiling back a little.

"And I assure you, we acknowledge that, with only some mild indignation," Amako replied easily. "But she's our little girl. While both Fonil and I can see this strength in her, we're loathe to let her go."

Suki opened her mouth, desperate to say something, but unsure if it would only make things worse. She was about to shut it when something desperate, something eager for so much more, overrode the impulse.

"I'm not a bender," she blurted, too late realising that she was eclipsing something Burin was about to say. She went on anyway. "And I'm not good at medicine. And I hate domestic stuff. I want..." and here her throat closed up, because she could see that her parents already knew what she wanted, and it hurt them, just a bit. But she had to say it; they _had_ to know. "I want to be something _more_."

Duree smiled, and Burin nodded slowly, her grey-blue eyes sombre. "So did I," Burin said, her face so serious it was almost shocking. "I, too, grew up just like you did: average, ready to spend my life within a village, learning only what was needed to keep going. My future was set."

She smiled, closing her eyes and reaching up with a gloved hand, brushing a few short locks off of her forehead. "I had no idea that it wasn't what I wanted until I saw what could be more. And then I knew."

Duree nodded slowly. "Suki, we saw you seeing us. Just a little. We knew. If you don't come now, you will regret it and always wonder. It will kill you."

Burin, at those words, smiled wider and looked away.

Suki stared, her heart racing. She wanted, so desperately, to go with them. _To be a Kyoshi Warrior, to be strong and brave, to never have to worry about being a victim again._

But could she just leave her family? Leave everything she knew?

Amako smiled faintly, and Fonil took her hand. Her lip trembled, and Amako's eyes wavered.

They knew. She was going.

It was now only a matter of _when._

"Yes," Amako said, her voice wavering. She sat up straight, looking Burin right in the eyes. Even though Suki knew that Burin was much younger than her mother, for some reason, it was almost looking at two equals. "Suki has our permission to go."

Suki shut her eyes, her face hurting. She was smiling, but also crying. She knew her future was set, but in a whole new way.

"That's _wonderful_ ," Burin replied, sounding like she meant it. "Now, since she just turned eight, we fully do not expect her right away. Obviously she needs time to prepare, and so do we." Burin met Suki's eyes, and the younger girl blinked her tears away. "We're not going to stay long today, because it's your birthday. However, we will be back in three months. Is that okay?"

Slowly, Suki nodded. Three months seemed like an awful long time to wait for something this exciting, but she also knew that once they were over, she would miss the time spent and wish for it back.

Maybe...

With a look to Duree, Burin got to her feet. Duree shortly followed, smiling brightly at Suki. "We will leave you to your birthday, Suki," Duree said cheerfully. As the two Warriors made their exit, Duree reached over and ruffled Suki's hair. Suki blushed.

"Wait," Amako called out. "I'll walk you out." She stood up and followed them, muttering something to Burin in a low voice as they left.

Fonil squeezed Suki's hand, and she looked up. His face was sad, but his eyes shone with pride. "Well, Suki," he said softly. "You're a little warrior now, are you?"

It wasn't the words, or their meaning. It was the whole weight of what had just transpired in such short time that seemed to crash into her. With a wail, Suki threw herself at her father and buried her face into his neck, sobbing. He held her tight, stroking her hair and making shushing noises.

She was happy. But it was a kind of happiness that was always doomed to be coupled with unrelenting sadness that always came with change.

"What's up?" a drowsy voice suddenly said from the doorway of the kitchen. Father and daughter looked up to find Ritu standing there, rubbing her eyes. "What's going on?"

Suki started wailing again. It was probably the worst, and best birthday, she would ever have.

The three months went by in a daze. It was spent making arrangements for Suki's new life: packing up anything she needed, getting a place on the merchant ferry to Kyoshi, settling a few things about her education, and so on.

It was also spent desperately, with Suki trying to absorb everything around her, thinking each time she did something average, _This is the last time I'll do_ this… _this is the last time I'll do_ that…

And when those months were over, and she had managed to say all of the goodbyes she had wanted to, and when her sisters clung to her with wails of their own (Niya's sobs surprised Suki to the core; she had never seen her cry before then) and threatened to come and get her if she didn't write, it was time to go.

With her parents, she boarded the ferry. Her eyes were fixed on the small village port for the whole time until it was nothing more than a speck in the distance.


	5. Four

The ferry ride to Kyoshi Island was a sombre one. It was spent in between awkward silence and awkward small talk. And when both of these were exhausted, it was then spent huddled in a squish of arms.

It was a difficult moment for Suki. She was so excited, and yet she was unable to shake her fear. There was too much to be afraid of: What if she failed? What if she never saw her family again? What if she never amounted to anything?

Her parents offered a good distraction when it seemed that her mixed feelings would get the best of her, but the ride ended all too soon when the ferry hit the shore and the passengers were ushered out onto the beach.

Suki watched with wide eyes as they disembarked from the huge ship. She didn't know it then, but the ferry would be one of the last ships to ever dock at Kyoshi Island for many years. At the time, however, while it wasn't as busy as the marketplace in her home village, it was certainly full of people.

There was a lot of blue, she saw. The Kyoshi residents seemed to favour the colour, much like their neighbours in the south, although their clothes lacked the fur trims and parkas. The air was cool, but also held the promise of hotter summer days. It wasn't that much different from home.

Like her, there were several people who were there to stay for a while. A couple of people were greeted with shouts and hugs, while others were bowed to with formality and led away with an air of seriousness. Besides her and her family, Suki guessed that there were about a dozen people landed on the island.

There were a lot of little girls, she also noticed, little girls like her, dressed in soft blue clothes and little blue caps. A lot of them had the black hair and brown or green eyes of the natives, but some, like her, had lighter colouring. They varied in age, from her own to mid-to-late teens, and all seemed to bear a curious focus on those who were newcomers to their shores.

Behind them were several other men and women, as well as a handful of younger and teenaged boys. They all wore various shades of blue, but without the uniformed look of the girls. They were dressed in clothing that was suitable for whatever they did, and it was then that Suki realised – rather belatedly – that Kyoshi wasn't just about the Warriors; it was a full, thriving village, and it needed more than just the Warriors to survive.

She squeezed her mother's hand. "Maybe you could come and trade here," she whispered, her voice coming out like a nervous squeak.

Amako squeezed back, but only smiled. They both knew that the ferry ride was too infrequent and troublesome to have a place in her mother's trade, but it was a thought.

"Daddy, are you ever in this area?" she continued, her voice high.

From her other side, Fonil placed a hand on the top of her head. "Sometimes," he said, "but rarely. Kyoshi has its own doctors, and likes to keep to itself."

The truth of the words made her feel lonely, and she wondered, for the first time, if what she was doing was actually the right thing.

A flash of green and gold startled her into looking up with a racing heart. The sea of blue parted, and a small troupe of Warriors made their way over to the trio waiting. Burin and Duree led the way, trailed by two other older girls.

Suki yanked her hands away from her parents' and clumsily put them together, bowing formally in greeting. She tried to speak, but her throat was dry.

"Hello, Brave Suki!" Burin called loudly. Suki looked up and was greeted with warm smiles from the Warriors. She blushed. "Welcome to Kyoshi," Burin went on. "I hope it's everything you expected it to be."

Suki lowered her hands, her face burning. "It's beautiful," she blurted out. And it was. The village itself was a nest of busy stalls and homey houses, nestled in a thick bed of trees and creeks. It was breathtaking, even for Suki, who had lived by the ocean all of her life.

Burin smiled kindly. "Well, we try," she quipped. "The three of you are free to come into the village as you please, including the Warriors' barracks. There's no rush; you can get settled, look around, and learn a few things before you say goodbye. Sounds good?"

 _Say goodbye._ The words were like a punch, but Suki swallowed the urge to cry. Pressing her lips together, she nodded.

Burin, Duree, and the other two Kyoshi Warriors led the three into what was obviously the town square. An enormous statue of the village's namesake stared over two rows of simple houses, and when Suki walked by them, she managed to peer into one or two; they were decorated in various shades of golds or greens. Without a doubt, this was where the Warriors of Kyoshi lived.

 _My new home,_ she thought suddenly.

"While new girls aren't rare, they aren't something we have every day," Duree was saying as they walked between the rows of houses. In the distance, Suki could see the faint outline of the village proper.

Duree's musical voice continued, echoing slightly from how empty and quiet it was. "Suki is our first outsider since Burin showed up."

Burin smiled but said nothing. Duree went on. "As you can probably guess, this is the main area, where the Warriors live. Students get the smallest quarters and, depending on age and rank – as well as personal preference – the rooms get bigger and fancier with time."

"Personal preference?" Amako echoed.

"Sometimes," one of the Warriors broke in, her green eyes dancing. "Occasionally, we get a girl who wants to stay where she is, despite having moved up a bit in rank. Some like simplicity."

Duree placed a finger to her lips, her eyes pointed skyward in feigned innocence. "One year, I seem to remember a girl who refused to leave her recruit quarters for a very long time. It was only recently that she moved from them, and only because we _made_ her." She glanced sideways at her leader. "Right, Burin?"

Burin shrugged one shoulder, looking perfectly cool about being teased by her comrades. "I'm a simple woman."

"Your knickknack collection was taking over. You _had_ to move."

"In any case," Burin went on, shooting her second a dirty look. "We treat all of our girls the same way, from start to finish. Suki may have had a special circumstance coming here, but once her feet touched the soil, she became a Kyoshi girl. She's no longer special; she's just like any other girl raised on this island."

Burin stopped, halting the group with her. She turned to them, looking very serious. "Whether Suki succeeds or fails is up to her. No one can decide such a thing but her. Do you understand?"

Both of her parents nodded. Suki, however, felt intimidated, and she swallowed hard before looking down at her feet.

Duree's voice, sounding kind, brought her gaze back up. "However, it's very rare that we have to send a girl home, so don't lose heart." Suki looked into the older girl's eyes and saw that she was smiling at her. "You can do it."

The words were small, but they helped.

Burin started to walk again, and the group followed. "One of the best things about having a separate place for our girls is the view," she said, her voice a little more cheerful. "There's nothing like waking up to the sound of birds, the ocean, the breeze in the trees…nothing at all."

"Burin's a nature geek," the other Warrior, the one with hazel eyes, said with a giggle.

Burin, however, took no offence. "Dajana's right," she agreed with a grin. "So, if you're not into nature, it's not going to be fun."

"No, I love it," Suki blurted out in protest. "Really, it's wonderful!"

Fonil and Amako shared a smile. "Suki goes swimming every chance she gets," Fonil admitted softly.

"Well," the green-eyed warrior said, "we don't get a lot of spare time to spend in the water, but you're welcome to it when you do, Suki."

"Unless you're eager to do other things, like _sleep_ ," Duree replied, which brought up good-natured chuckled from her fellow comrades.

Suki was, above all, smitten. Not just by the scenery or the promise of regular swimming, but by the camaraderie, the friendship, that these women seemed to have with each other. It made her feel rather welcome – eager, even – and far less scared. She wouldn't be alone.

"Ah, there's Sakana," Dajana said suddenly, gesturing to their right and waving. "Hey there, little sis!"

Suki followed her gesture and saw a tall, sullen-faced girl standing in front of a small house, dressed in grey-green clothes. Her black hair was long and glossy, and her eyes were light, but Suki couldn't tell what colour they were from the distance.

When she was waved to, the girl, Sakana, glared and stormed back into the house, slamming the door behind her without a word.

Dajana didn't take it personally, however. "She's eleven, and she's starting as a recruit this season along with you, Suki," she explained. "She has the skill, but seems to think she deserves more because of her age and the fact that she's related to me." Dajana shot a sharp look to her companion, who was sniggering. "You were just like that, Rikka, so shut up."

Rikka froze, her green eyes wide. "I was not!"

They bickered, but Suki's mind was still on that tiny house, where that girl had given her such an angry look.

Any hopes she had of easy friendship were squashed with that single look.

"Well, here we are," Burin said, stopping them in front of a hut just as small – if not smaller – than the one Sakana had retreated into. Suki felt mixed feelings upon seeing it; it was very small, but it was also _hers_. She wouldn't have to climb over sisters all the time. It would be her own.

Entranced, Suki forgot about anything else. She stared up at the house, taking it all in, oblivious to the others watching her.

The wood was worn, which was to be expected, but it was maintained and replaced when needed. It stood a single storey high, raised on a slight platform to prevent rain from flooding in. Small stairs led up to the door, which was adorned with the characters for "Student Twelve" in metal or steel. Underneath it, in chalk, were the characters for her name. Seeing them there made her feel warm inside.

"Go ahead inside, Suki," Burin said, obviously sensing her hesitation. "The rest of us will head into the market. Get comfortable, settle in, and join us when you're ready. We're going to have a welcoming bonfire tonight, so don't be late."

Suki nodded slowly, only half-hearing the sounds of them starting to walk away, chatting amicably about bonfires and ceremonies.

She started up the stairs slowly, hearing a slight creak in the second one. Carefully, she reached out and opened the door an inch, peering in shyly, as if she was expecting someone inside already.

The smell of musky wood greeted her, coupled with the smell of soap and dust. She looked in, her heart racing, and found a small room, hosting a single bed in one corner and a dresser in the other. It was narrow and small, but so was Suki, so it worked. She slipped into the house and closed the door softly, afraid that any sudden noise would somehow make it disappear.

There was a single window over the head of the bed, covered with dark green curtains. Carefully she pulled them open, allowing the sunlight to stream into the room. The bright light gave a new sort of life to the place.

Dust hovered in the air, brought up by her movement and illuminated by the sunlight. She sneezed and rubbed her eyes, then looked around closer, examining every nook and cranny, even going as far as to peer under the bed (where she found a very clean chamber pot hidden).

Then she giggled. It just bubbled up to her chest, without warning, only to erupt from her mouth in a flurry of noise. She stood in the middle of the tiny hut and just laughed and laughed, tears coming from her eyes without really understanding why.

"Why are you laughing like a jackal-monkey?"

Suki gasped, jumping backwards and away from the sound of the voice, almost tripping over the bed in the process.

The girl she had seen before, Sakana, stood in her doorway, wearing a sour expression on her face.

Suki placed a hand on her chest, catching her breath. "Wow, sorry," she said breathlessly. "You scared me."

"You didn't answer me," Sakana answered back, narrowing her eyes. Up close, Suki could now see that they were a very pretty golden-brown. Sakana crossed her arms over her chest and stared at Suki. "Why were you laughing like that?"

Suki felt a stab of something – humiliation, probably – but she swallowed it, still wanting to make friends. Besides, she was still in a really good mood. She threw her arms out. "I'm happy!" she admitted. "It feels like a dream, being here."

Sakana snorted, rolling her eyes. "It's not, and you won't get far with an attitude like that." She glowered, her mouth a thin line. "It's _work_ ," she snapped. "Hard work. No fun and games. That is, if you _want_ to succeed." She then smiled, a gesture that would have been pretty if it wasn't malicious. "Otherwise you can play all you want."

Suki gritted her teeth. She felt that all-familiar wave of frustration and fury, the kind that she had experience when dealing with Ranku. "I'm not going to just _play_ ," she said quietly. "I'm going to-,"

"You're going to last less than a week," Sakana cut in. "I've lived here all of my life, and I've seen girls stronger than you crack under the pressure. You won't be any different."

"Oh, really?" Suki snapped, her patience gone. "And what makes you so sure of that?"

Sakana stepped in closer, a mere foot away. "You're _weak_ ," she replied, her voice low. "You're small, little, and weak. You're just a vanity project for Burin, just to prove that she's not the only outside who can be a Warrior. But she's a fool, and she's not even very good."

Suki clenched her fists, wanting to punch the other girl in the mouth. Burin was like a hero for her, and not just because she was born off the island. Hearing such comments was like a personal attack.

However, despite this, she couldn't think of anything cutting to say. Sakana was too quick, too witty and precise, and Suki just couldn't keep up.

"You…you're a complete _jerk_ ," Suki spat out, knowing she sounded like an idiot but unable to do much about it.

Sakana laughed meanly, sending a spike of white-hot fury into Suki's gut. "You can't even defend your pathetic little hero," she sneered. "You're just as pathetic."

She laughed again, tossed her hair over her shoulder, and turned her back on Suki.

Suki had no real explanation for why she did what she did next, but it happened anyway. She lunged out, threw her hands up, and shoved the older girl, hard, as hard as she could, out of her hut.

Sakana stumbled out, then tripped over the staircase. With a yelp, she lost her balance and teetered off the porch, landing in the dirt below.

Suki stood, her hands still out, feeling the momentary adrenaline fade with the shock of what she had just done.

Sakana slowly got to her feet, her face bright red and furious. She was covered in dust, and any sort of icy calm she had was gone.

"Your days here are _numbered,_ " she snarled, her voice so livid that it sent stabs of regret and fear into Suki. Before she could even try to apologise, Sakana stormed away, a trail of dust in her wake.

Suki slapped her forehead, the sting of pain not enough to make her feel better. _That was stupid_ _!_ She thought in her despair. _Now everyone will hate me…_

"Oh, _WOW!_ " a shrill voice cried, scaring Suki again in less than ten minutes. It was followed by a high-pitched, uncontrolled peal of laughter. Suki followed the sound of the voice and saw a tiny girl, smaller even than she was, with wavy shoulder-length hair and huge brown eyes, standing at the foot of the stairs. She was small in every way except for her eyes and, oddly, her mouth.

Suki blushed, looking down in humiliation, assuming that this girl was laughing at her for losing her temper. However, the girl looked up at Suki and grinned, her wide eyes dancing. "You pushed Sakana!" she burst out excitedly. "That's _so_ amazing!"

Suki stared back, officially confused, now. This girl was gazing at her like she was a hero or something. "Uh…" she croaked out, unable to think of anything else to say.

Apparently that was okay. "You look super-foreign, but not, like, scary-Fire-Nation-foreign. Are you from the main land?" Suddenly she gasped and placed her hands in front of her, excited. "Are you from the _Water Tribe_?"

"Uh-," Suki tried again, but with no luck.

"No, you're too pale to be Water Tribe, so you must be from the mainland, then. Wow! Your eyes are blue! That's _so_ amazing! Maybe you _do_ have Water Tribe in you!"

"Er-,"

"I'm Zayi!" the other girl gushed out. "You must be Suki! All of us have been eying this house, wondering who 'Suki' was, since there isn't a 'Suki' here, but you're here, and now we don't have to wonder anymore!"

Suki blushed again, but this time for a different reason. Suddenly, unexpectedly, she felt hope again, hope for friends and optimism for her future.

"Hi, Zayi," Suki said, feeling shy all of a sudden. "You're right; I'm Suki."

"Hi!" Zayi giggled, clapping her hands together three times and smiling so brightly her eyes vanished into crescents. "I know! It's great! I was so afraid you would be a bully like stupid Sakana, but you're not! It's _awesome_!"

"Uh, Zayi?"

Both girls turned to find another black-haired girl, one with a sly smile and half-closed eyes, standing behind Zayi. She was tall and compact, and her hair was curly and cut to her ears. "Wanna let the newbie breathe?"

Zayi went scarlet, poking her index fingers together in embarrassment and lowering her head. Suki felt a little bad for her, despite the small bite of relief. "It's okay," she said honestly. "I can breathe."

The other girl laughed, a surprisingly low sound for so young a girl. She walked over and ruffled Zayi's hair affectionately. Instantly, Zayi's moment of ennui was gone, and she was happy once more. "This is Mikku!" she announced. "She's older than me, and smarter."

Mikku tugged on Zayi's hair a little. "We're both smart," she replied. She looked at Suki curiously. "I'm ten. How old are you?"

"Eight," Suki admitted shyly.

Zayi squeaked. "I'm nine!" she cried. "I'm finally older than someone!" And out of nowhere, she leaped up the steps and threw her arms around Suki, hugging her very hard and revealing a strength that didn't show.

Suki burst out laughing, hugging back. She was feeling so happy she wanted to dance. This was exactly what she had wanted; a sense of easy friendship, of common ground, of meeting new and exciting people.

Zayi pulled away, practically wiggling with excitement. "Suki, Suki!" she cried. "You have to look around, really get a good tour, before the bonfire!"

"Oh, but-," Suki hesitated. "I'm supposed to meet my family in the market."

Mikku blinked, tilting her head to one side. Then her eyes focused. "Right, your family doesn't live here."

Zayi went pink. "Oh, no! You should be with them, _go_!" and she actually started to push Suki away, down the stairs and towards the market. It made her giggle.

"Come with me!" she replied on a whim. She was feeling bold, and Zayi's enthusiasm and excitement was infectious.

Zayi clapped again, and Mikku smiled, closing her eyes and shrugging a little. "Okay," the older girl replied. "We have nothing else to do."

Zayi looped her arms through one of Suki's, tugging on her hard and giggling happily. Suki giggled as well, unable to hold it in. When the other girl broke into a run, she followed, half-dragging, her heart soaring. The sound of Mikku's dry complains while she followed buoyed her even higher.

 _This'll be okay,_ she thought, the scenic sights around her blurring as Zayi dragged her along. _This is going to work._


	6. Five

They started with paper fans.

Suki tried to hide her disappointment, but was unsuccessful. Burin could tell, or perhaps she wasn't the only one staring at the two average paper fans in her hands with a look of dismay.

"Oh, _honestly_ ," Burin chastised sternly, her hands going to her hips. "You all probably thought that you would be starting with metal fans and full make-up, didn't you?"

Suki blushed; it _had_ occurred to her. Around her, the other girls shared similar looks of embarrassment. Well, perhaps with the exception of Sakana, who looked oddly unsurprised. But then, her sister was one of Burin's own. She was probably told in advance.

Zayi looked both embarrassed and ashamed, while Mikku merely looked annoyed, despite the slight blush on her cheeks. The two other girls, whom Suki had met at the welcoming bonfire a week ago, looked the same way, but to different degrees: Iru, the smallest of them all, smaller than Zayi, was scarlet, but she held the fans in her hands tightly. Azaki's round, calm face was pink, but her eyes were steely and determined.

Each girl had their own personality, but it was no secret that they all had a kind of strength. It was no accident that they were all there, kneeling on the tatami floor of the training dojo, dressed in simple and loose grey-green gowns. They all were made of the same stuff – they just had to prove it.

"Basic fan technique comes first," Burin went on, her voice stern. "You slip through the moves, learning first with a regular fan. Once you've mastered it, _then_ will you get metal fans, only to start _all over again._ You will have to adjust, relearn, practise, _and do it again,_ before you master the art of Kyoshi!"

Her voice rose, and she stopped in mid-stride – Burin fell into pacing in front of them when she lectured. "Tessenjutsu – tesson fan martial arts – is _not a game_!" Her voice washed over them like a loud wave. Suki, unlike the other girls, leaned in towards Burin, her eyes wide. Burin usually scared the other girls when she went on tirades like this, but Suki learned early that Burin's best tips for training came buried deep within them.

"It's _not_ a dance – although fools will _think_ it one," Burin went on, grinning, her grey eyes flashing. "It's as beautiful as a dance, but like a rose, it has _thorns that pierce_!" And here she lunged out, one leg forward and bent, the other a pace back and straight. Her arms were held out before her, one straight and with her hand palm-out, the other bent and held close to her chest. "We use an aggressor's force _against_ them, to force them _away_ , and we _win_!"

"Okay," Sakana suddenly cut in loudly, shocking everyone else around her, even Suki. Her face was impassive, her eyes narrowed. "But how to we _fight_?"

Suki bit back a sigh. If she were to admit it, she knew that Sakana would have caused some kind of trouble somehow in front of Burin eventually. For the entire week, while Suki and the others learned basic stretches and warm-ups with Duree, Sakana complained that it was too easy. When the girls were sent to regular classes with the other village children or assigned chores, Sakana whined that as recruits they should be exempt from all of that. And if that wasn't enough, Sakana made it her personal vendetta to find ways to try and get even with Suki for pushing her on the first day. She hid in the outhouses to keep her out, scared her and made her drop her food, stuck burrs in her brush...the list was endless, and would probably have hundreds of more items added to it by the end of the year.

And now? It took all she could to keep herself from punching the older girl's lights out.

Burin, for a split second, looked as if she felt the same way – her left eye twitched a little – but it was so minuscule and gone in an instant that it could have been mistaken for a trick of the light.

"You want to fight, Sakana?" she wondered, her voice eerily calm. "Before you're trained properly, before you even wear paints?"

Sakana would have been stupid to rise to the bait, so she shut her mouth. However, her eyes were like liquid steel, and her fists were clenched upon her knees so hard they shook. Clearly, even when saying nothing, the answer was obviously _yes_.

"Come up here," Burin snapped suddenly, bringing up startled jumps from the girls before her. Suki, and indeed everyone else, watched as Sakana hesitated slightly, probably realising her mistake, before slowly sliding up from her kneel and to her feet. She made her way up to the front, where Burin, only mere inches taller, seemed to tower over the younger girl. Once she was before her, Burin snapped out, "Show me."

Sakana swallowed hard, at once going pale, and for an instant Suki felt sorry for her. Burin was, after all, terrifying sometimes, and now was definitely one of those times.

"Show me, Sakana," she repeated sternly. "You all have had your basic instructions from Duree, but since you seem to know more than everyone else, by all means, _show me_."

Sakana opened her mouth, then closed it. She made a gesture as though to move, then paused. Slowly, like a wave on the shore, her face turned bright pink, and she lowered her head, her shoulders sagging. "I can't," she whispered in defeat.

Suki stared in surprise. She was so sure _– so sure –_ that Sakana would have gone through with her challenge and get whomped by Burin, all for the sake of her pride and stubbornness. But here she was admitting her folly...it was surprising, to say the least.

Despite herself, Suki felt a brief gust of respect for her tormentor.

Burin seemed to, as well, because instantly her aggression cooled. "I know you can't," she answered, her voice softer, but hard. "Sit down, _now._ "

Sakana obeyed, her face scarlet and her head still lowered close to her chest.

"Becoming a warrior takes _years_ ," she continued. "One week of steady warm-ups is a mere thread of the hairpiece of tessenjutsu. Paper fans this early are a _compliment,_ " and here, to Suki's pleasant surprise, Burin smiled. "You've actually progressed further than anyone else I've ever trained, ladies. Be proud."

Suki wasn't the only one who went pink and smiled shyly, with the exception of Sakana, who merely shrugged one shoulder and didn't look up, like she already knew this.

"Now!" Burin's hands went to her sides, and she pulled out, to the delight of everyone, a pair of paper fans. They looked silly next to Burin's full uniform and paint, but she held them with the same grace and strength as if they were metal, and soon it looked less silly and more natural. "Everyone to your feet, fans in both hands, natural stance!" Instantly, the girls obeyed. The fans felt unusual after a week of training without them, but Suki didn't mind. After all, she knew she would get used to it eventually.

 _Hopefully,_ a small voice echoed, the faint cry of her doubt. She swallowed it, held it deep within, and it was silent.

Together, the girls followed Burin's lead, going through all of the warm-up moves that they learned, except now with the fans. It was awkward at times, especially since Suki had used her open hands as a way to balance herself, and more than once a girl fell, losing her footing. But Burin, instead of chastising like they had expected, paused long enough to allow the fallen girl to scramble to her feet before continuing on like nothing happened. It sent a message that was louder than her words could ever be shouted: Not only did it not matter that someone fell, but it was actually _expected,_ and it was okay.

Suki fell twice; the weight of the fans, however slight, was still enough to throw her off-kilter those times. But she felt proud of herself none-the-less.

Once the lesson was over, she felt a little sore and a lot more tired. One by one, the girls filed out of the dojo, bowing to Burin on the way out. Sakana's bow was stiff, but it was there; that much was certain.

Suki was the second-last to leave, and she rushed her bow past Burin and dashed out to try and catch up to Sakana. Evening was falling by now, as the lessons in the dojo took place both mornings and evenings, sandwiching in regular classes and chores. The faint light of dusk soothed Suki a little – summer nights on Kyoshi were cool and calm, a reprieve from the heat of the day, and it gave her confidence.

"Sakana, wait!" she called out to the older girl, running as fast as she could to try and catch up with her long-legged paces. "Wait!"

She didn't, but Suki managed to catch up to her anyway. She darted past her and jumped in front of her, stopping her hurried flight and causing her eyes to flare in annoyance.

"Get lost, Suki-wag-a-tail," she sneered.

Suki ignored the insult. "I just wanted to say," she admitted breathlessly, "that-,"

"That, what?" Sakana snapped. "You're glad I was yelled at? You're glad I was humiliated? That I _deserved_ it?"

Suki shook her head. "No," she said, meaning it. "I thought it was really brave, admitting you were wrong. It took guts."

The words were obviously not what she was expecting, as her mouth opened slightly, her cheeks going pink. Her eyes, always so clear and lovely and glazed with malice around Suki, went soft – confused – and it touched Suki.

But it didn't last. Her face crumpled with sudden rage. "Who cares what you think, you little _rat-eel_ ," she snarled. She pushed past Suki roughly, storming to her house and disappearing within, slamming the door behind her.

Suki's heart fell a little, but she couldn't forget that one, tiny moment that Sakana's eyes held the light of – yes, that was it – _gratitude_ within them.

Suki turned and vanished into her own house, sore, exhausted, and ready to sleep the night away. She trudged over to her dresser and place the paper fans on top of it. She reached up and pulled out her hairtie, shaking her staticky hair free from its ponytail, and – first checking for burrs – proceeded to brush the knots and sweat out from it.

She turned to her bed, her eyes already drooping a little, brushing still, when her gaze fell on a square of white on her green bedspread – a letter!

Excited, Suki dropped the brush on the bed and snatched the letter up eagerly, flinging herself down onto the bed so hard that it creaked in protest.

It had been over a week since her parents had left the Island without her. It was strange, but Suki had been so busy that she had had little time to think about being homesick. She woke up early every day at dawn, had breakfast, practised with Duree, had lunch, went to school, did chores, had supper...only to train in the dojo again until dusk. Suki was usually so exhausted by the end of the day that she had little energy to spend on loneliness and homesickness.

But, she suddenly realised that it had been there all along – it was just buried. It had been bliss to have space of her own, but she also missed Ritu's snores and Niya's muttering in her sleep. She was happy to have independence, but sometimes craved a hug from her mother or a soft hand on the top of her head from her father.

She missed them, a lot. She lay down on her back, kicked her brush off the bed, and got comfortable. Then she opened the letter, the first of many weekly letters, the words taking her home across the water, just for a short sliver of time.

 _Darling Suki!  
_

 _It's me, your mother...you probably could have assumed that safely, except that, when your sisters learned that I was writing to you, they felt the need to add their own at the end of this letter. How lazy and annoying. Regardless, while it's only been a week, I feel the need to update you anyway._

 _Your father has gone back on the road…Called to the north, close to Omashu – and beyond. Maybe he'll stop by to see you if or when he can. He won't be back here until far into next year. Hopefully he'll be back in time for the spring equinox. He does love boiled eggs._

 _Ritu and Niya are bored. As you know, the start of summer means a reprieve from school until the fall. I'm sure you have a different schedule, since Burin told us the new school year starts at the summer solstice – strange, but there must be a reason for it, right?_

 _I will allow a little gossip, just to keep you entertained. There were rumours – unconfirmed – of a Fire Nation occupation in one of the villages to the west of us. That's hardly news, I know, but what is strange about it is that it's said – oddly – the village went along with the take-over! How strange! How could anyone in the Earth Kingdom so easily give in to the Fire Nation?_

 _I will keep you updated on it, of course. How I wish the war was over...Nothing else is new, pet. Sales are made, days go by. Talk to you next week._

 _Write when you can!_

 _-Mama_

Underneath her mother's lovely writing was the similar writing of Ritu.

 _Hello Suki. I hate that you told Mother about the boy from school. But I miss you, I guess. He likes me, by the way.  
_

 _DON'T TELL MOTHER, PLEASE._

And under it, Niya's intense, messy scrawl, written in all capitals, said this:

 _SUKI I'M BORED WITHOUT YOU. PLEASE COME HOME SOON BECAUSE RITU IS ANNOYING. FLUNK OUT OR SOMETHING.  
_

 _PS. RITU'S BOYFRIEND IS DISGUSTING. AND SO IS SHE._

Suki giggled, feeling both the love and the loss that all of the words evoked. She hugged the letter to her chest, closing her eyes. With the words swirling through her mind, she felt the loneliness ease. She was grateful to her family for still thinking of her, and thinking of her so much.

Weeks went by like days, months like weeks. Each day, Suki trained so hard she had to drag herself home half-asleep. Each week, she was greeted by a letter from her mother. Each month she was surrounded by fellow recruits who liked her, were her friends – Mikku and Zayi especially, but Azaki and Iru as well – and who were learning to be warriors just like she was.

The townspeople treated her like one of their own, helping her out during her errands if she got lost and giving her snacks and treats like they would for the other girls. Pretty soon, Suki fell into routine so snugly that it was hard to imagine any other kind of life.

She was _made_ for Kyoshi.

It was only when she got up from bed one morning and tripped on a stack of colourful boxes in her doorway that she realised it was her birthday – and that she had been on Kyoshi for almost a year. She was so surprised that she knelt down in her doorway and started crying, opening each present with blurred vision and a runny nose.

"Suki," Mikku called, walking past her house and seeing the younger girl hunched over her gifts with tears in her eyes. She walked up the steps slowly, leaning down to her. "Why are you crying? Are you having a meltdown?"

Zayi caught up to her and peered over her shoulder, her eyes huge on her face and clouded with worry. She slipped past Mikku and threw herself at Suki, giving her a huge hug, all the same. "Happy Birthday, Sukes!"

Suki nodded, hugging the girl back lightly, her hands full of wrapping paper. Zayi pulled away, her smile vanishing from her face. "Oh no!" she cried. "Do you hate your presents?"

"I..." and here Suki was at a loss. She looked down at her hands, wondering if the presents at home would be wrapped this extravagantly. She missed her family, but was also glad to have friends at her side. She longed for home, but was in love with Kyoshi. It was confusing.

"You know, I keep forgetting that Suki isn't a Kyoshi girl," Mikku broke in suddenly, her hand at her chin on thought. She met Suki's gaze as Zayi helped her to her feet. "You miss home."

Slowly, Suki nodded, wiping her nose with her sleeve. "I'm also happy, too," she admitted shakily. "I can't explain it. Sorry."

Zayi reached down and scooped up a couple of presents, ones that were opened, and zipped into the house, dropping them gently on the bed, before coming back for more. "It's okay!" she declared between trips. "We understand. Sort of?"

Mikku smiled halfway. "Sort of," she agreed.

It wasn't much, but it helped.

The rest of the day went by as usual, not breaking from the daily routine. If it weren't for the stack of presents and Suki's conflicted emotions, she would have assumed it was just like every other day.

At the end of the day, Suki trudged home, exhausted, but also melancholy. If she had admitted it to herself, she would have realised that, perhaps, she had expected something different, something _special,_ just because it was her birthday.

But then, when the other girls had their birthdays, their days were the same, too. Why would she expect otherwise?

Realising – no, _admitting_ – this helped her. _I'm a Kyoshi girl,_ she thought, for the very first time. _And Kyoshi girls don't get special treatment._ She wasn't a visitor, a tourist, or even a novelty – she was already _there_ , already a _part_ , already a _Warrior_.

She missed her home, but...she also realised that Kyoshi was turning into her _new_ home, all without her even realising it.

Burin, somehow, must have picked up on it. Or maybe Duree had told her, because Duree was one of the few that Suki knew could tell (she had given Suki a tight hug after lessons and wished her a good day). The next day, when Suki arrived at the dojo for evening lessons, Burin made a point of drawing her aside to speak to her.

"You alright?" she wondered softly. When Suki nodded, she gave her a small smile. "Liar," she accused. "But don't worry – it gets easier with time. We're new, but we're your family, too, Suki."

It was quite possibly the best thing she could have said, ever. The words supported her, helped her get through the haze of her conflicted feelings, and all because now she knew for sure – she just knew – that she wasn't alone or a coward or a weakling for feeling the way she did. Burin had felt it, too.

It helped, so much.

By the middle of spring and shortly after Suki's birthday, the girls had mastered their forms with the paper fans. Just like Burin said, Suki and the others had adjusted, relearned, and mastered the paper fans, to the point that Suki hardly remembered what her forms felt like without them.

To the joy and delight of the girls, it was time for spring break. This included both regular students as well as the recruits, and for the first time outside of the classroom, Suki found herself mingling with the other kids of the village. It was hard for the recruits to do so, for their time spent training was the same time the other kids spent playing, and thus they weren't used to it. During spring break, the recruits could pretend to be average for a few weeks, just like everyone else.

Despite this, Suki found herself clinging close to her fellow Warriors-in-training. Both Mikku and Zayi were like her best friends, and Azaki and Iru weren't so bad either. Sakana, however, spent her days with an entirely different group of girls, girls who shared the same kind of polished elegance that she did. Occasionally Azaki would spend time with Sakana – she liked _everyone_ – but the other girls steered clear; there was something threatening about Sakana and her gang, and Suki above all didn't want to give the older girl more excuses to hate her.

Despite the break being about, well, taking a break, Suki couldn't help but be drawn back to the dojo for practise. She was, she realised, a creature of habit, and found herself craving the exercise.

Mikku teased her for it, but Zayi often joined her in the dojo, sparring with her or just keeping her company as she slid through the moves. It was nice, either way, to have that companionship.

There was one day that she was especially grateful for Zayi, because she had no idea what she would have done if she had been alone.

It was a miserable, rainy day. The thousands of drops that fell from the sky hit the roof of the dojo like soft little bells.

"Oooh," Zayi clapped twice, her eyes huge and fixed on Suki, looking overjoyed. "You always do that move so well."

Suki paused in mid-stride, her arm over her head, the other held out at her side for balance. "Which one?"

Zayi leapt to her feet and flicked out her fans, dipping into a stance. Suki lowered her arms and stepped back to give her space, as the other girl danced across the floor. Zayi was actually really good; despite her small size, her strength and agility made her moves solid and pleasant to watch.

When she finished, Suki was the one who clapped. Zayi blushed shyly and scratched the back of her head. "You're good at that, too," Suki said cheerfully. "Don't sell yourself short."

Zayi giggled. "You're such a merchant's daughter, talking like that."

Suki stood up straighter."I _am_ a merchant's daughter," she declared proudly, bringing another giggle from Zayi. Suki smiled. She knew that a lot of the other kids thought that Zayi was stupid because of how excited she got, but Suki knew the truth – she saw it every day in the dojo, after all. Zayi _was_ smart – smarter than her, probably – and she was quick and deadly. She learned faster than the other girls and usually needed to be shown how to do a new move once. Zayi was just...she was a very happy and upbeat girl, was all. She had a strong resilience to endure conflict and push past it, all while still being happy and optimistic.

Suki envied that. She wanted to learn how to do that.

A tentative knock snapped her out of her reverie. Both girls looked to the open doorway to find a soaked and miserable-looking boy with curly hair that was plastered to his head. "Can I come in?" he wondered, his voice soft. "It's really coming down!"

Zayi was instantly sympathetic. "Of course! Yuck, the rain is _horrible_ today!" She darted over and helped the boy into the dojo, closing the door behind him.

Suki wrinkled her nose a little. The boy brought in a smell that was similar to a wet squirrel-dog.

Zayi looked around, then went to the back room of the dojo and reappeared with an armful of clean towels. The boy gratefully took them, using them to dry off shyly.

"I've seen you before!" Zayi admitted as he started trying to dry his hair. "You're...um..."

"Suihou," he replied, pulling the towel away from his hair and clutching it tightly to his chest. His eyes went wide, and seemed to be glued to Zayi.

"Right!" Zayi clapped her hands together once. "Suihou!"

Suki edged closer. She hadn't met him before, and was pretty curious, despite the underlying nervousness she felt about being near a boy – that much she had never been able to be rid of, leftover from dealing with Ranku.

"And you're Zayi," Suihou was saying. His eyes slid over to Suki, then widened in sudden surprise. He seemed to lose his trail of thought at the sight of her, and instantly she felt shy and self-conscious about it.

"You're...Suki," he said, his voice louder. When she nodded, crossing her arms over her chest and narrowing her eyes, he grinned widely. "Everyone talks about you when you aren't around! They say how you're an outsider, but still pretty good, and _wow,_ I'm actually talking to you!"

During this tirade, Suihou's voice rose higher and higher in his apparent excitement. Zayi and Suki exchanged surprised glances, but a split second later got the real surprise of a lifetime; Suihou dropped the towels, threw his hands up in the air, and, apparently abandoning himself to his glee, started cheering over and over again until he _actually frothed at the mouth and passed out onto the floor._

Suki stared, stunned. Anything she thought of saying dried up on her tongue.

Zayi, however, found it absolutely hilarious. Her giggles filled the dojo, her arms around her middle as she laughed, her eyes so tight tears ran down her cheeks.

If she had had any remaining doubts about being accepted, Suihou's explosive (literally) display dissolved them in an instant. She smiled, then joined in the laughs, unable to hold them in any longer.

Inside, her heart laughed, too. _It can only get better,_ she thought. _It can only get better._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writer's footnote: Now Foamy has a name! Hahaha.


	7. Six

The next year went by without much change – all but one. About a week after the new year began, Burin brought out the metal fans. They were old, and thousands of hands had held them before Suki, but a single touch was like a jolt of energy firing into her heart, and she was smitten

"You will be making your own fans once you've mastered these," Burin said. "Learning with these ones gives you a feel for it, but using your own, a pair _made_ for you, is entirely a different thing. It will be like they are extensions of your own body."

And, just like Burin had predicted from the start, once again they all had to relearn their forms with the metal fans. This time around it was much more difficult; the metal fans were twice the weight as their paper cousins, and Suki's fingers usually felt close to breaking off after practising with them.

But she was determined, and by the time she had turned ten, she had managed to get through the day without her hands hurting after. To her, it was one of her greatest successes.

There was still much to learn, but apparently they had learned at just the right speed, because once the Solstice passed, Burin and Duree suddenly switched places – Duree taught at night, while Burin taught in the morning.

"Why are _you_ here?" Sakana blurted out the first morning without thinking, surprise and fatigue making her careless. The other girls winced, but Burin only chuckled.

"You'll find out in the evening," she replied mysteriously. "This evening, your lesson with Duree will be at the community house instead of the dojo."

Everyone was instantly confused by this, but Burin didn't elaborate. Instead, she started the lesson, and Suki was instantly distracted by this, the confusion brushed away by a wave of metal and agility.

But everyone remembered when it was time for the night lesson, and the walk to the community house was done with much speculative talk.

"Oh, I hope it's something fun," Iru moaned, rubbing her neck slowly. "I'm so exhausted that I'm starting to dream about fans and forms."

"Only starting?" Mikku wondered, sounding confused. "I dreamt of that our first week."

"I dreamt of it two years before coming here," Suki admitted shyly. "I was kind of obsessed with the idea of becoming a Warrior."

"Wow, that's kind of sad, Suki," Mikku snorted. "'Specially since you're not even a Kyoshi girl."

"Oh, shut up," Suki growled over the giggles of the other girls.

Only Sakana was without curiosity. She walked a few paces away, her eyes focused ahead of her. Suki found this needlessly cold; after all, it had been two years – hadn't Sakana warmed up to them yet?

But then, maybe not. The older girl's pranks hadn't ceased, but they became far more subtle than burrs in brushes. They came in the forms of rumours, elaborate practical jokes, setups for humiliation... things that were sneaky as well as miserable, sometimes forcing Suki to long for the old days of childish jokes. She didn't get it, after all. She had been nothing but civil with Sakana – _nice, even!_ – and _still_ she was hated. It was something she just didn't understand, but knew it was futile to try and change... _for now_.

Zayi startled Suki out of her reverie. "Sukes!" she cried, throwing her arms around her waist and squeezing. "What do _you_ think it is?"

Suki shrugged. "I dunno. Maybe we're going to make a written record of our forms?"

Mikku looked horrified. "That's awful. I can't draw _anything_."

Iru grinned. "I can!"

Azaki reached over and ruffled her hair. "We know that, goose-pigeon," she teased.

"Hey, maybe you could draw our homework for us, Iru," Mikku's eyes were narrowed, but her sly smile revealed she was – mostly – joking.

"I take it back. I can't draw."

Laughter met her words, from everyone but Sakana, who sighed and rolled her eyes. Azaki noticed and trotted up to walk with her, leaning in close and saying something too soft for Suki to hear. Out of all of them, Azaki was the only one who had managed to form a friendship with her. Iru tried and was treated with indifference, and of course Suki, Zayi, and Mikku were on her blacklist. Suki sort of envied Azaki – she was sure that Sakana was actually a really interesting person, deep down, under all of that anger...

When Azaki and Sakana suddenly laughed together, Suki felt the tips of her ears burn. _All I want is to be friends... with_ everyone, she thought sullenly.

Finally, they reached the community house and walked in, chattering nonsense amicably and failing to notice the change to the place until moments later. And when they did, all conversation ceased.

The large hall's many tables had been pushed against the walls to make space. On the floor, in a half-circle formation, were six large wooden boxes, each decorated with green and gold flowers against a dark brown background. Surrounding the boxes were piles of what looked like tassels, small sheets of gold-coloured metal, shiny gold paper, and a long green sash.

In the middle of the half-circle sat Duree. A box of her own was placed in front of her. It looked worn out but was decorated with the characters for her name and various other designs and decals. She smiled brightly at them. "Hello, girls!" she chirped. "Welcome to the start of headdress lessons!"

This instantly delighted the girls – even Sakana and looked pleased – at seeing this. Suki for a moment hoped that maybe, just maybe, Sakana would be disarmed enough to make up with – but she never got a chance, as Duree instantly distracted them.

"Each of you gets a chest. This chest will be yours for the rest of your lives, so take care in designing them. Each of you has materials to design your own unique headdress."

As Duree spoke, each girl walked over and chose a chest by sitting in front of it. Suki sat in front of one that was a little scuffed around the bottom. It was silly, but she felt sorry for it, because it wasn't perfect, so she wanted to choose it instead of it being left over and unwanted. Very silly, but she felt better doing it all the same.

Sakana, of course, chose the on that was close to flawless.

"You've all learned classical calligraphy from me," Duree went on, rising to her feet and walking to one of the tables, were sheaf of paper, inkstones, and brushes were places. She grabbed an armful and started handing them out as she spoke. "So I want you to write your names the same way."

Suki swallowed. She was pretty bad at classical calligraphy. She was hoping they could just use regular characters, but that probably wasn't as fancy.

Still, it was worth it to try, wasn't it? She wet the stone, dipped the brush in, and, with her tongue sticking out, slowly wrote out the calligraphy of her name, concentrating so hard that she forgot she wasn't alone in the room.

Her name meant many things depending on the brushstrokes – springtime, moonlight, love. Often, she thought it was a silly, childish name, and other times she liked it okay. But when she memorised the calligraphy of her name, she noticed that her tiny name actually looked really beautiful, far more extravagant and detailed than she ever thought she could become.

To her delight, not only did she managed to make it look good, but she only smudged it once, near the first syllable, so it looked more like "moon" than "love", and it was a little lopsided, but still. It was her best, and she felt proud.

Duree waited until she was sure everyone was done before she moved on. "Okay, so now that you've all picked a chest and made it yours, now you need to decide what kind of headdress you would like. Place all of the materials in the chest for now – I'm going to hand out some paper for you to plan."

And so it began. For months, the girls toiled and worked over their own projects, fixing and correcting and sometimes starting over again when the need came up. It was very hard, very detail-oriented work; too much decoration and it was too heavy to wear, but too little and it was impersonal and plain. The headdresses were meant to reflect each girl inside – and that was no easy task.

Suki often went to bed with her head full of ideas and solutions for her own, but most of them, when applied, looked absolutely terrible or were too heavy.

When two months had passed and Suki's sash still lay bare, Duree approached her with concern. It was after the lesson, and Suki was sitting on the ground, her head in her hands and her fingers covered in beads.

"Suki," the older girl said softly, kneeling in front of her. "What's wrong? Your headband is empty."

Suki grunted, not looking up. She felt absolutely dejected. She glowered at the naked and somewhat worn-out sash in front of her. "I can't do it," she muttered in frustration, her eyes stinging a little.

"Can't do it?" Duree blinked slowly, and when Suki looked up, she saw that the older girl's face was kind, but also concerned. "Why not?"

"I want it to be special, but I can't figure it out. Every idea turns out to be ugly or heavy or _stupid_."

Duree gently pulled Suki's hands away from her head – she had been tugging at her hair so hard that it looked painful. "I had no idea," she said softly. "Would you like to take a walk with me?"

Suki shrugged one shoulder, and Duree smiled. She stood up, and Suki followed suit, leaving her mess behind.

Duree took her up towards the Hill, one of the highest vantage points on all of Kyoshi. Suki had seen it from afar, but was directed never to go alone, and thus had never had a chance to see it up close.

Now, however, it looked as if Duree was going to show her what sat atop the Hill.

Night was falling, so all Suki could see before her were shadows and stars. Duree seemed to have the way memorised – she didn't hesitate or stumble once. All Suki could do was follow as close behind as possible.

They stopped in front of a square-like shadow – a building, Suki realised. A small one. From her pocket, Duree produced a copper key, using it to unlock the front door. She slid it open and walked in first. Suki waited until faint orange light shone in the doorway. Duree had lit a candle.

Carefully, Suki walked up the steps and peered inside. Duree smiled at her and gestured for her to come in. She did, and was instantly entranced by what she found.

It was like an entire building made for Avatar Kyoshi and her belongings alone. To the sides, Suki saw the former Avatar's kimono, boots and sash hung up, as well as her fans, headdress, and swords mounted upon glass table-tops. As Duree lit the lanterns, Suki's eyes fell on the mural on the wall, and she felt all other things slip away from her focus.

There stood Kyoshi, a giant of a woman, holding a fan to her chest, her other arm thrown out towards the now distant horizon. Before her were hundreds of blue-clad villagers of all shapes and sizes, eagerly awaiting either speech or instruction. At the Avatar's side stood a young woman, her daughter, Koko, also looking towards the crowd. The setting sun was painted in as well, giving the entire scene a softer look, like hope for the new day.

Suki was speechless, her mouth gaping open. She had never seen anything so lovely.

"Kyoshi had her flaws," Duree said softly, joining Suki in front of the mural. "But she was a leader, a hero to her people."

Suki nodded slowly.

"Come over here, Suki."

Duree led her over to a stand that was beside Kyoshi's fans, the stand for her headdress. Upon the sash was a large, golden, fan-shaped piece. It looked simple and heavy, regal and understated, but when Suki glanced back at the mural, she saw that it had made Kyoshi stand out.

"Kyoshi herself favoured simplicity, Suki," Duree said, reaching over and taking it from its stand with gentle fingers. "The headdress itself looks intricate and ornate, but it's a ruse – touch the metal."

Suki did, gingerly, and found that the gold plating was rather thin. When Duree offered it to her to hold, she discovered that it was almost feather-light. She looked at Duree with surprise, and the older girl smiled.

"Sometimes, Suki," and here Duree looked right into her eyes, a gaze that she would never, ever forget. "Simplicity speaks far louder than detail ever can. Even our founder followed it. Sometimes, it's just what's needed."

She took the headpiece back and replaced it, then placed a warm, gloved hand on Suki's shoulder. Suki smiled, feeling as it a heavy weight had been lifted from her chest.

The visit to the shrine helped, more than she would have ever imagined. The following night, Suki was like a madwoman, sketching out what she wanted and ensuring she had the means to follow through with it. During classes she spoke to no one, which was unusual, but there was no dragging her away from her project.

In two weeks since the visit to the shrine, Suki finally had her headdress. By then, the other girls had made theirs and even occasionally showed up to the morning classes wearing them (that was, until Burin yelled at them for about ten minutes about being too eager and arrogant, which promptly made all advance wearing cease). She was elated, and could finally understand why the other girls wanted excuses to wear theirs – it gave each girl a nice dose of reality and a hint of what was bound to come.

Once the headdresses were done, Duree led them on to actual clothes – the gloves, robes, boots, and armour of a Warrior. Each girl wore the same thing, and unlike the headdresses, there was no distinct type for each girl. Also unlike headdresses, the girls were required to wear the clothing - sans armour - every single day.

Each girl had to be fitted for her robes, and from then on it was her responsibility to maintain them – including alterations and adjustments.

Suki's own robes were a nightmare in green. In the next year and a half, she had had to alter and let out her robes so many times that she lost count. If it wasn't her height, it was her weight. If it wasn't her weight, it was muscle or – she soon discovered in the middle of her eleventh year – breasts and hips. Puberty is a nightmare enough for any girl, but for Suki it was almost too much too bear.

 _Almost._ There were joys in growing older, too. She was able to be independent, especially when regular school was over and the other kids graduated into trades or left Kyoshi for jobs or travel. With age – and change – came harder work, but with it greater rewards.

Take, for example, the day that Suki and her fellow recruits walked into the dojo to find both Burin and Duree there with Palko, the village smith. They spent the entire day working with Palko, getting fitted for their own fans. It was a wonderful, amazing year.

Pretty soon, Suki's Warrior chest was full of the tools and materials of a real Kyoshi Warrior. She kept other things – sentimental things, like the worn paper fan her mother had bought her once – but the chest was primarily used for her Warrior vestments. Without realising it, she was already almost there.

The year she turned twelve was a happy one. The upcoming Solstice festival opened up a wonderful chance for Suki and her Warriors. They still had a year or two before they were completely finished training, but Burin and Duree felt that it was soon enough for them to perform at the Bonfire Ceremony before it was lit.

Suki was beside herself. She had seen the performance that Burin and the other Warriors had put on the first year, and she was thrilled with the idea of doing the same. Terrified, oh yes, but thrilled.

In between making and training with their new fans and learning basic sword practise with Duree, the girls were also taught the moves for the Warriors' Dance.

It wasn't so hard, Suki had learned. It was basically like their martial forms, only softened and saturated with more exaggerated arm movements. It was easy enough to learn – except when Burin revealed the sinker.

"We have to wear our complete uniforms?" Sakana spluttered out in shock. Suki couldn't help but agree with her shock – she had been expecting some kind of costume since they weren't fully trained yet. "But we haven't even learned make-up yet!"

Burin took her dismay with ease. "Relax," she advised. "You've been wearing the robes long enough, and you'll be able to practise enough wearing everything else. Besides, you should be getting used to it, regardless – those uniforms are what you will wear for _life_."

"But, well..." Mikku blinked slowly. "Wouldn't it be strange for us to perform in incomplete outfits?"

"Recruits have performed the Dance for decades, long before any of you were even _born_ ," Burin answered. "You will be fine. Now shut up and get to your feet."

There was no further argument, despite the fact that they soon discovered wearing the full uniform made any and all of the forms they had studied almost impossible to do. By the end of each day, Suki had to literally peel her robes, gloves, armour and headdress off, as the articles stuck to her skin with her sweat.

Pretty soon, Suki was counting down the days to the Solstice, eager to get it all over with. When there was a moment of downtime two days before, she discovered that the other girls – even Sakana – felt the same way.

It was after class, and in the dying sunlight, all six girls slowly left the dojo together, one of those rare moments that united even Sakana into the little group. In fact, it was Sakana who spoke first.

"Ugh," she said, "I can't imagine how gross our faces will feel with the addition of make-up."

Azaki tried to laugh. "Heh, yeah. Sweat and paint. How elegant."

"I thought the paints were waterproof," Iru said. "I mean, Burin and Duree _never_ sweat it off, even during the Short Days."

"Mm..." Sakana replied. "Stuff like that is bound to be heavy."

"I think that's the last lesson, right?" Mikku wondered. "I mean, what else could they even teach us?"

Zayi, who was usually so energetic, merely murmured, "Maybe something with our hair."

"No, Mikku's right," Sakana said. "It's make-up next. Then we finish our training. That's what Dajana said."

"Yeah, but Dajana also said that we'd have to glue our headdresses to our heads," Suki broke in without much thought, only to inwardly wince afterwards – _she'll just take it personally..._

Sakana, however, surprised her. She was either too tired to care, or knew that Suki was right and didn't want to bother arguing it. "True. And I got her back for that."

Azaki covered her mouth. "Yes, we heard her scream and scream about the badger-toad you hid in her bed for almost a half-hour."

Sakana's grin was sly. "Like I said."

Suki smiled. It was moments like this that she liked the most, when they were all able to act like _girls_ and not just warriors, when they all got along based on common ground and actually seem like friends...

She adored that. Later in life, she would cling to these fragments of time, those stolen moments of mediocrity, later to be lost in sorrow and regret.


	8. Seven

The day of the Solstice, Suihou decided to pay Suki a visit. Ever since he had met her in the dojo, he had been something of a distant onlooker; in fact, Suki was pretty sure that he was afraid to get too close to her, lest he start frothing in excitement.

However, Suihou surprised her. She had been tying on her headdress when the knock came at the door. Thinking it was Zayi or Mikku, she answered it – and found him standing there, eyes huge on his face and hands fidgeting before him.

She smiled. "Hi, Suihou!" she said cheerfully. "Looking for Zayi?"

He went pink. It wasn't a secret that he adored the small and cheerful girl, ever since that day in the dojo. "N-no," he answered, not looking her in the eye.

Suki adjusted her ponytail. "What's up, then? I was just getting ready to meet the other girls at the dojo."

"Oh, right, the Bonfire Dance," Suihou smiled. "I-I'm sure you'll do really wonderfully."

She smiled wider. "Thanks, I hope so, too." She pulled on her gloves and shut the door behind her. "Want to walk with me? Zayi is bound to be there already."

When he nodded, she started on her way, and he followed. Since she knew that he was not only excitable, but pretty shy, too, she decided to let him take the lead in any conversation.

Which, after a few minutes, he did. "You look really awesome in that uniform," he blurted. "Like a real Warrior."

Despite herself, Suki felt her cheeks heat up a little. "Thank you," she said. "I don't have the paint yet – none of us do."

Suihou nodded, and Suki found herself wondering for the first time what it was like being a boy on Kyoshi Island – an island of women. _But then,_ Suki thought, _the Elder of Kyoshi, Oyaji, is male..._

Additionally, it was all that Suihou had known, after all. He was raised amongst the Warriors, and probably didn't hold them to a mystic light that she, as an outsider, did.

"So, uh-," Suihou's soft voice burst her out her reverie. "-d'you think you're going to graduate soon?"

Suki chewed on her lip. She wasn't sure, actually. While she was confident that she was getting it, it still took her longer than the other girls to do things that they found easy. And while both Burin and Duree appeared to have faith in her – the fact that she hadn't been sent home was proof of that – she still worried and had her doubts. It was a little scary, and she felt a stab of fear, the fear that she would left behind by her friends...

Suihou was staring at her, and she realised her silence had gone on for too long. "Uh," she stammered, "I dunno. Maybe?"

"Neat," he replied, his eyes dancing. "It'll be cool to see you all dressed up – and it'll be great if you could help the villages across the water, too."

 _The villages,_ Suki thought with a shiver of anxiety. There had been rumours, echoed by letters from her mother, of increased Fire Nation activity across the water. The Earth Kingdom was practically under full Fire Nation rule, with the exception of a few small towns and villages, and, of course, Ba Sing Se. But recently, occupation was turning more into dictatorship, and a few of the villages even tried to revolt. This resulted in the capture of hundreds of earthbenders and the destruction of the villages.

It terrified Suki, if she was unsuccessful in pushing it from her mind. Although both her mother and father constantly reassured her that their village was cooperative and, as a result, untouched, Suki still feared the day that she would be sent a letter telling her just the opposite.

For the most part, Kyoshi Island had stayed out of the war; the island's isolation kept them safe, and no one had tried to do anything against the Fire Nation in decades. However, Suki also knew that both Burin and Duree had been discussing the situation, and from the sounds of it, things would soon change.

Suki had never thought for a moment that she would be strong enough to make a high rank, let alone be strong enough to defend villages. Still, Suihou's faith in her was comforting – sweet, even – and she was grateful that at least _someone_ thought she was strong.

"Maybe," was all she said.

" _Suihou!_ " Zayi's voice cut through the sleepy morning air. A flash of green, gold and black zipped past Suki and crashed into the boy beside her, instantly encasing him in a hug.

Promptly, Suihou started to hyperventilate. Zayi tried to calm him down by hugging him harder, but of course that only made it worse. Within moments, he was a puddle of foam on the ground.

"Oops," Zayi giggled, her hand to her mouth and her cheeks pink.

" _Disgusting!_ " Sakana shouted out from the doorway of the dojo.

"Predictable," Mikku said.

"I think it's sweet," Azaki admitted.

Suihou's eyelids slowly flickered, and he jumped to his feet, hunkered down, and pulled his shirt over his head. Without a word, he ran back towards the village in a hurry, embarrassed to the core.

"Bye, Suihou!" Zayi called cheerfully after him, waving. She always took it as a compliment, although Suki could never fathom why. When he had done that to her, she certainly wasn't flattered. But then, Zayi was, well, _Zayi_.

"Stop flirting and get in here," Sakana snapped. "We have to practise as much as we can before the stupid festival."

Azaki shot her a stern look, surprising Suki. "Don't scold her for having fun. We've practised enough that five minutes less won't hurt."

Sakana sniffed. "I have to practise commanding anyway."

As the girls filed into the dojo, Mikku snorted. " _You? Command?_ More like _demand_."

The older girl's face turned livid, but Mikku wasn't done. "And besides, what's this crap about _practise_? For _what_ , when you enslave Kyoshi?"

" _No_ ," Sakana snarled, flicking her fans out as she spoke. "For when I become leader."

Zayi instantly paled, and Suki could understand why; if Sakana was made leader once Burin retired, the people she didn't like – namely, Zayi, Mikku, and Suki – would suffer for it. It was a very uncomfortable thought.

Mikku seemed to think so, too. " _You_ , our leader? That's assuming that the four senior girls will even _retire_ , and even then, what makes you think anyone would be stupid enough to make _you_ our leader?"

"I'm the oldest," was the reply. "With the most skill, and the most intelligence. Who _else_ would it be?"

It was actually a good question. Sakana definitely had a kind of charisma that the other girls lacked. While all were strong in their own way, it was hard to figure out who would make a good leader besides Sakana. Zayi was too excitable, the kind that would panic and let her emotion rule; Iru was too nervous, and would rather avoid confrontation altogether; Azaki was nurturing, and tended to try and resolving over disarming; Mikku was too cold, and apathy would keep her rooted.

Suki didn't bother counting herself. She knew she was weak, and seen as too slow to lead.

If led properly, by the right person, these kinds of flaws would become assets; by directing them properly, a good leader would be able to direct the girls and utilise their individualities effectively.

However, Suki wondered. Sakana was rather calculated and not a stranger to expending a fellow Warrior if it benefited herself. She wondered if making her a leader was folly, after all.

"Sakana, why are you bringing this up right now, anyway?" Azaki wondered. "It's not like it's going to happen anytime soon."

"Unless you've heard something," Mikku added coldly.

"Why _else_ would we be in the Bonfire Dance?" Sakana sneered. "The riots on the mainland are increasing – Burin and the others will be going over to help eventually, and when they do, they have to leave _someone_ in charge: _me_."

"Whatever, Sakana," Mikku snapped. "Shut up and get into formation. _Oooh_ , I just issued an _order – maybe I'll be leader_!"

"Come on, girls," Azaki frowned, her eyes on Iru, who had started looking scared from all of the arguing. "Let's just practise."

They did, but with an air of reluctance and awkwardness. Sakana's words were grim, and the air lay thick with a sense of an unknown – and scary – future.

They practised for three hours straight, until it was absolutely flawless. Suki actually really loved the Bonfire Dance – it was fluid and lovely, and it made her feel alive and like the fire it was about. She had high hopes about the dance, and even found herself getting excited about it. She even found herself counting down the time until it started.

After, the girls decided as a group to take a break until the Festival began. All were exhausted and either needed naps, food, or both. Suki stayed behind for a bit to go over her steps before leaving. She decided, above all, that she wanted a swim.

Over the years, she had learned several things about the waters surrounding Kyoshi Island: One, there was hardly anytime to visit them – Duree had been right about that. Two, most people stayed away from the waters because lately, there were rumours of some sea thing – Suki couldn't remember what it was called – that had been seen. Three, there were also elephant-koi that lived in the waters – so many that there use to be riding competitions before number two. And lastly – Suki really, really missed swimming.

As a treat to herself, she decided to risk it and try to get a swim in. It was getting to be a hot day, anyway – it was the perfect chance.

When she got there, however, she found she wasn't the only one who had thought so. Sakana was already in the water, stripped to her underwear and doing lazy laps. Suki felt both a twinge of annoyance and a stab of anxiety go through her – she didn't want a confrontation.

But then, something amazing happened. Sakana dove under the water and didn't surface – for so long Suki was actually starting to get nervous – but then the water just exploded into a huge wave, and a gigantic elephant-koi fish erupted from it. Laughing gaily and hanging from a huge fin was Sakana.

Suki had had no idea that the older girl rode the koi fish. She did it with such ease and expertise that Suki wondered how long she had done it, only to realise that the answer was probably "all her life". There was something alluring and inspiring about watching Sakana dive up and down through the water with the koi, so Suki knelt in the sand and just watched.

It was Sakana's third leap, and as the koi crested the water, it jerked, as if snagged on something. Sakana grabbed onto the fin and looked around, but whatever had grabbed the fish wasn't done. Like out of a nightmare, it was as if something just yanked the fish out from under her feet, and she screamed and fell – _hard_ – into the very same water. To her horror, Suki watched as a cloud of blood blossomed from beneath – although whose it was, she had no idea.

Without much thought, Suki was on her feet and in the water before she could even blink. The water was ice-cold and rough, but she sucked in a breath and dove into its murky depths, almost choking in her horror.

The cloud of blood was thick, but not enough to censor what was happening within it. Something long, grey, and _huge_ was making a meal out of the koi Sakana had been riding, tossing its head and using its long sharp teeth to shred the flesh of the fish. A few metres away was Sakana, floating motionless in the water – unconscious, and getting closer and closer to those teeth.

And _that_ was something Suki refused to let happen.

She forced her way though the muddied water, her eyes on Sakana's limp form. She hoped that whatever that thing was – _serpent? Eel?_ – would be too distracted by its dinner to even bother noticing her.

But the moment she threw her arms around Sakana's middle and started to swim away, the creature noticed her – and the look it gave her sent her insides convulsing.

Sakana wasn't heavy, but she was bigger that Suki, and the added weight made her moves through the water slower and awkward. She was running out of air, and the eel-thing was getting more and more agitated with her presence.

Suki jerked her gaze away from it – she knew that if she kept her focus on it, she would never get away – and instead focused all of her energy on getting Sakana to the surface.

For a while it worked. She was able to ignore the waves, the bubbles, the sea of discarded blood, all in favour of that swim towards the shore. But as soon as Suki and Sakana broke the surface, the eel-thing – unagi, Suki suddenly remembered – broke it, too, and with an eerie and blood-curdling shriek, it just _slammed_ its neck into the water behind the two girls, its aim only a few centimetres off.

The shockwave of the blow was both of sound and force. Not only did Suki go deaf for a moment, but both girls were blasted away on an onslaught of waves and momentum. With a gut-wrenching crash, they slammed into the shore, and the unagi shrieked again but decided to snack on more koi, instead.

Suki spent several minutes just holding Sakana and shuddering from the shock of it. It was only when Sakana groaned and coughed that she pulled away, helping the older girl into a sitting up position as she threw up water and bile – and oatmeal, Suki saw with faint disgust.

There was a long moment when reality failed to kick in and they just sat together in silence. But when Sakana turned her sharp gaze on Suki, and recognition seemed to flash though her like lightning. She jerked back, her face twisting into a scowl, and Suki felt a sharp bite of rejection and resentment in return.

But only for a moment, because Sakana's look only lasted seconds, until suddenly it collapsed, and she started shaking from head to toe, her eyes going huge and her skin paling. Without even hesitating, Suki held out her arms to her and, to her surprise, Sakana practically threw herself into them, a faint mewl of a sound coming from her.

Suki held her as she shivered, her eyes on the waters without really seeing them. She knew she should be feeling something monumental at the idea of her rival crying in her arms, but all she could feel was pity, and relief.

"That's never happened before," Sakana croaked out suddenly. "Never."

"It's okay," Suki said, and it was. "It was an accident."

"That was scary."

"No kidding."

Sakana was silent for a moment before she pulled herself away. Both girls had wet, tangled hair, and Sakana's hung in her face. It made her look tiny, even though she was not. "Why did you save me? You hate me."

Suki opened her mouth, but the words that came out were not the ones she had planned to say. " _You_ hate _me_."

"A little," Sakana admitted. "But not as much as _you_ hate _me_."

"I don't _hate_ you," Suki said. "I think you're mean, and stuck up, and you hold grudges, but I don't hate you."

Sakana stared at her. "How can you say those things and expect me to think that you don't hate me?"

Suki blushed. "Well, I don't. But I don't like you, either." _But I_ want _to like you_ , _you jerk_ , she added silently.

"I don't like you, either," Sakana snapped, reaching up and smoothing her hair out of her eyes. "Don't think that this changes anything between us, because it doesn't."

Suki sighed. At times like this she wished she had a witty mind. Instead she said, "Whatever. I would have never expected that saving your life would make you _nice_."

Sakana scowled, and Suki scowled back. There was a moment of long, soaked silence, before Sakana blinked slowly and cracked a smile, a huge and catlike smile.

Suki was so surprised that she jumped, and in reply Sakana laughed so hard that she fell backwards into the sand. Suki reddened, thinking that she was being made fun of somehow, until the sound of Sakana's laughs – so different than the mocking cackles – got under her skin and made her start, too.

Soon, the beach was awash in laughter and not just waves. They laughed themselves into coughs, relieved to be alive despite the circumstances. And once the laughter died, the two girls just lay in the sand in silence, letting the sun dry out their skin, hair, and clothes. Then, together, they went into the lunch hall for some food.

Sakana may have joked about it, but something _had_ changed. That much was obvious during the Bonfire Dance. During rehearsals, Sakana went out of her way to try and make Suki look clumsy and foolish, but during the actual Dance, she did nothing of the sort. The result was a lovely and successful performance. As a result, things were much different between them and most of the underlying animosity between the girls ceased.

While they weren't best friends, they got along better; Sakana was still snobby and taunted Suki for being an outsider. Suki, however, instead of shrinking away from it, found herself challenging the taunts or – when wit failed her – just responding with a simple "shut up".

After the Solstice, Burin said nothing, but Suki could tell she was proud of them – their first day of training involved cupcakes served at the end, something not even done on birthdays.

Duree was over the moon and made no attempt to hide it. She gave them the night off – something simply _unheard of_. Every girl spent it sleeping.

The next day went exactly as Sakana had predicted – with the application of make-up. Duree gave them each a heavy wooden box. Inside were thick pools of red, white and black, as well as various-sized paintbrushes and a mirror on the inside of the lid. As each girl examined the box, Duree spoke.

"Paints used to be lead-based until some of the girls got sick from them. Lead was the thickest and most durable – it lasted forever. But we found alternatives, and it turns out that they last even _longer_. Pay attention, now." Each girl looked up from their boxes. "I'm going to tell you the recipes. You will have to make your own paints, so listen up."

Duree went on for about an hour, describing the long and intensive process on making personal paints. There was a lot of scrambling for inkstones and paper, and a lot of frantic scribbling, but Suki got the recipe and was actually amazed; it was easy, but it just took a while for the ingredients to set.

And the, the best part was the following few days – actually using the paints. It was a long and difficult process, and more than once Suki had to wash her face and try again, but once she got it right on her first try, she was amazed.

The Suki in the mirror was not the Suki she was used to seeing. That girl was always small, unwitty and something of a coward. The Suki in the mirror was the girl she had always wanted to _be_ – strong, proud, and not afraid to stand in for justice but also not the type to abuse her power. Finally – _finally_ – she was seeing what she had always wanted to see, what she had dreamed of becoming all of those years ago.

And the other girls around her had changed, too. Azaki was more like a gentle but vengeful warrior than a mother; Iru's nervousness vanished into strong confidence; Mikku's sly and apathetic mask changed into nonchalant but deadly ferocity; Zayi's eternal cheerfulness was laced with razor-sharp threat; and Sakana's icy indifference was honed into a blade of blue-white fire.

At that moment, Suki no longer had any doubts. No matter what happened, she _was_ a Warrior, and so were the girls around her. Inside, the transformation was already complete – it was only formality now for the outside to follow suit.

Suki smiled. The Kyoshi Warrior in the mirror smiled back.


	9. Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writer's Note: The next couple of chapters explain how Suki became leader, and the rest are all from canon, told in snippets from Suki's perspective (I won't be rehashing the episodes line-for-line; I'll be using off-screen incidents that coincide with the episodes).

The year passed as a blur. Suki barely remembered most of it, save finally being able to wear the full uniform of a real Warrior.

She also knew that her time as a recruit was almost over. Sakana had been right about that; once Burin was confident that they had mastered their make-up, she said, quite briskly and with a scary smile, "Now the training starts _for real_."

And to Suki's horror, she found out that they no longer had two classes with Burin and Duree each. Instead, the _whole day_ was spent mastering their forms, in full uniform, breaking only for meals and short rests. It was exhausting, but Suki was also glad for it – she wanted to be as learned as possible.

The whole year was a chain of practise and meal breaks. Suki barely had time to write to her family, let alone spent time with her friends. It was only when she noticed the villagers preparing for the Solstice that she realised the year was almost over. She barely even remembered the Long Nights...

The girls didn't get their springtime break that year, which was why, she thought, it was so easy to lose track of time.

A week before the Solstice, right in the middle of a lesson, Suki watched in shock as Burin lowered and closed her fans. With her hands on her hips, she said, her words clipped, "Okay, that's it!"

Duree nodded with a grin, lowering one fan and using the other for its initial purpose – as a fan.

Zayi dropped her fans, her eyes huge. Azaki blinked slowly, and Mikku scratched her cheek. Iru started shaking.

Sakana, of course, spoke back. " _What's_ it?" she snapped, her arms crossed over her chest.

"Training," Burin answered, tucking her fans back into her belt. "Now get out of here and sleep."

Duree put her free hand to her mouth and giggled.

Suki stared, stuck in her stance from shock. The other girls wore similar expressions.

"Wait," Sakana protested. "We _can't_ be done. Not everyone here is sixteen." (Suki went pink a little at this, since she would be the last to turn sixteen, which would, in a way, hold everyone back.)

"You think that that matters?" Burin snapped. "Shut up and go home. You're Warriors, now. Obey my orders!"

Duree whacked Burin's shoulder lightly with her fan. "Don't be rude," she chided.

The girls, however, remained rooted to the floor, sharing almost identical expressions of confusion and shock. Even Sakana had nothing more to say, which seemed to exacerbate the gravity of the shock.

Burin sighed, giving Duree a helpless look. "They're not very smart, huh?"

Duree chittered from behind her fan. "Now you're just being a jerk."

Suki swallowed, inhaled deeply, then carefully put her fans into her belt. Burin noticed and looked over, and Suki met her gaze right on. Without hesitation, she knelt down and pressed her forehead to the floor before her two teachers, not saying a single word.

Around her was an eerie silence, broken only by the sound of her own breathing in her ears. Then, one by one, she heard each girl – even Sakana – follow her lead.

"Ugh," Burin grumbled. Suki looked up and saw, to add even more to her surprise, that the leader was _embarrassed_ , one hand behind her head, looking away. She was, Suki could tell, touched.

But it didn't last. " _Get out of here!_ " Burin suddenly shouted. She reached into her belt, snatched up her fans, and flicked them open, lunging towards the girls with a growl. It was so sudden and loud that Suki and her comrades scrambled to their feet and obeyed without a second thought, the sound of Duree's laughter – loud and explosive – followed them out.

Once free of the dojo, the girls stopped and stared at one another. Zayi was the first to break the silence. She threw herself at Mikku, then Suki, Iru and Azaki. She hesitated, then did the same for Sakana (who winced and didn't hug back, but she didn't push her away, either).

"That's crazy," Mikku muttered. "In the middle of a lesson, even."

"Don't look a gift ostrich-horse in the mouth, Mikku," Azaki advised wisely. "You know Burin wouldn't have said it if she hadn't meant it."

"Except..." and here Iru looked nervous and scared. "Except, _now what_?"

The question was a good one. In fact, it was so good that of course no one had an answer – only more questions.

Now that they were trained, what did it mean? Were they on their own, free of Burin's command? Were new girls going to join and add ranks, and they would have to teach them? Or were they going to cross the water and help the villages against the Fire Nation?

 _Now what, indeed._

The girls spent the remaining week together as a group, as if they had always been close. Suki had never felt so happy in all of her life. They had sleepovers, played games, told gossip, did all of the normal things that girls their age never had the time for previously. It was wonderful.

And with the Solstice Festival came the final confirmation that the girls had graduated; they were given solid gold crests to sew onto their robes, crests that only full Warriors wore on their arms. Their robes were designed for them – the spaces were left blank for that reason – and having them added was probably the most satisfying thing Suki had ever felt.

She could hardly believe it. Only five years and she was already a Warrior. She wished her family could see her. She wished she could do _more_. She wished for a lot of things that day.

After the Festival, the changes started happening quickly. Suki was perched on her bed, sewing the crests onto her robes, when Burin knocked on the door and peered in. She looked up, grinned, and got to her feet, bowing low. Burin nodded and acknowledged this with a smile of her own.

"Just a couple of things, Brave Warrior Suki," Burin said with affection, and Suki felt a peal of pleasure course through her at the sound of it. "Now that you've graduated, you have the chance to move to a larger home. Certainly, this hut is grand for an eight-year-old, but for a thirteen-year-old, it's puny."

Suki blushed. She had been thinking the same thing lately but didn't think it was her place to say anything. "That'd be nice," she admitted.

"The other girls are moving, too, except Iru, for some reason," Burin looked puzzled. "But it's not mandatory to move, so it's fine."

Suki was a little puzzled, too, until she thought about it. Then she realised it made sense; Iru loved her little hut, declaring all the time that it was "perfect" for her. Of course she wouldn't want to move if she didn't find it lacking – to her it was already the best home she could have.

"Another thing," Burin went on. "Once you've picked a new home on the secondary row, you need to get your ass home."

Suki blinked, a shiver of fear going through her. "Why? Is something wrong?"

Burin shook her head. "No. You just haven't been home in half a decade. You need to see your family."

The very idea of it filled Suki with sudden longing. The slight homesickness she had always had never really left, and the idea of going home, even just for a little bit, was very appealing.

"How long can I stay?" she wondered.

"Two weeks," Burin replied. "Then I need you home." Suki opened her mouth to ask why, but Burin seemed to know this and she shook her head. "No, not saying a word until you get home."

"Okay," Suki said. "When does the ferry come to shore next?"

"Three days. Is that enough to get settled in?"

"Should be."

"Stop in to see me before you go."

Suki nodded, and Burin left. She busied herself with her sewing once more, her mind already across the water.

Three days was actually cutting it close. Suki had had no idea how much stuff she actually _had_ until she had to _move_ it. The other girls – except Sakana, since she felt that other people's manual labour was beneath her – helped her, but she still had barely enough time to stop in to see Burin before she left for the ferry.

Burin was in the dojo, alone, practising her forms by herself. Suki watched for a moment, then called out Burin's name. The older girl stopped and tucked her fans away, nodding a greeting in reply to Suki's bow.

"You wanted to see me?" Suki said.

Burin sighed a little. "Yes," she agreed. She seemed to hesitate, and Suki felt herself get a little antsy – she didn't want to be late to board the ferry.

But then she said, "Suki, you know the other girls very well, don't you?"

Suki blinked, then nodded, surprised by this strange question. "Yes, I'd like to think I do."

"You watch," Burin said softly, her grey eyes on Suki's. "You observe, cut in when you feel the need to, try and solve things when they need solving. You don't push, but you don't back down, either. You need more confidence, but you're not the type to be arrogant. You're a good kid, Suki."

Despite herself, Suki's cheeks burned. She felt something like shyness and elation at once. The fact that Burin could see her amidst a crowd of such strong and interesting – and indeed, distinctive – girls, was flattering and amazing. But still she didn't understand why Burin was saying this _now_ , when she had only moments before she had to go home.

But she said nothing. Burin's eyes were thoughtful, and they held her speechless.

"Things change, Brave Suki," she said finally, her voice soft. With a strong grip, she squeezed Suki's shoulder with affection. "Everything can change, and then everything can stay the same. Sometimes one after the other."

Suki frowned, confused. "I don't think I follow," she admitted shyly.

"I don't think I do, either," Burin smiled, and for the first time Suki realised something about her mentor and hero; she was just as human as she was, because if Suki had thought otherwise, she would have never noticed what was alight in those grey eyes.

 _Fear._

 _But of what?_

"Be safe. See you in two weeks," Burin said finally, her voice soft. She let go of Suki's shoulder, then walked away and resumed her practise.

Suki was rooted to the spot for a moment, confused. _What had just happened?_

But then the sound of the ferry's horn called and she dashed from the dojo, all thoughts suddenly on home.

It was nostalgic, to say the least. She had always feared that a return ferry ride would mean that she had failed, and that it would be a journey of shame. Back then, she had only dreamed that it would be like this; accomplished, and able to make her family _proud._

She wore her full uniform, and as she disembarked the ferry, she saw that no one she knew was waiting for her. With sudden embarrassment, she realised that in her flurry to get settled in her new house and her eagerness to head home, she had forgotten to tell them she was coming.

 _Oh well,_ she thought, grabbing up her chest and shoulderbag. _It'll be a surprise, I suppose._

The walk home was a kind of treat. Nothing had changed much, and even the smells were the same. She hadn't missed the heat or humidity (already she felt sticky with sweat), but the smell of water (free of unagi) was a pleasure.

 _Swimming, later,_ she promised herself with a smile.

When she rounded the corner and caught the faint outline of the village in the distance, she felt excitement course through her, and she broke into a run, her smile so wide it hurt. It was awkward – her chest was cumbersome and it rattled – but she didn't care. She was _home_.

And then, the sweetest part: seeing her house. Nothing about it had changed at all. She dropped her stuff and just _rushed_ towards it, forgetting she was a Warrior, forgetting she was in uniform.

 _I'm just Amako's girl again..._

The sound of her discarding her luggage must have been loud, for the door opened as she ran to it, and out came a woman with golden curls and immaculate clothes. She looked out with suspicious eyes and saw Suki. She froze, looking confused, but when Suki screamed out, " _Ritu!_ " and threw herself at her older sister, the confusion left and became joy. "Suki!" was her soft reply, squeezing her tight.

If Ritu's womanly appearance was shocking, Niya's was earth-shaking. Over Ritu's shoulder, a frizzy-haired and impossibly tall woman hovered close by, grey-green eyes puzzled. "Who the hell is that?" she snapped. "Did Mom piss of Kyoshi Island?"

Suki pulled away from Ritu and lunged at Niya, whose eyes flared in sudden recognition. As Suki hugged her, Niya barked out, "Well, holy shit!" and hugged back fiercely with loud laughter. Ritu hugged them both together, and Suki suddenly became a sister-sandwich, loving every second of it.

Once the initial shock wore off and Suki was allowed to breathe again, both sisters examined her critically, the way only older sisters can.

"Damn," Niya whistled. "If I didn't know it was you, I would have bet money that you were a real Warrior."

Suki sniffed. "I _am_ a real Warrior," she said proudly.

Ritu clapped once. "You're kidding." She was breathless.

"Of course she is," Niya sneered. "You were expelled, right? And they let you keep that crap, right?"

Suki shook her head. "No, I wasn't!" she protested. "I actually graduated."

"Prove it."

Suki glowered, then pushed her sisters a few feet away. She pulled out her fans, took a breath, then flicked them open. She threw herself into a short form, bending and weaving through her childhood home. To her delight, she was flawless. Once finished, Ritu clapped, and Niya cracked a grin and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Okay," Ritu smiled. "We believe you."

"Shit, I've only seen that kind of thing at festivals," Niya said, sounding impressed.

Suki tucked her fans away and smiled shyly. Niya reached out and poked her face, her eyes wide. Suki blinked, especially when Niya repeated the gesture several times, only to look at her fingers afterward.

"It won't come off," Suki offered. "Not without special soap. Not even in water."

"Whoa," was the reply.

"So..." Suki looked around, leaning away from Niya's returning fingers as she did so. "Where are Mom and Dad? Is Dad even around?"

Ritu instantly dimpled. "Yes!" she agreed happily. "You have wonderful timing. They went to the market to get some dinner. Seeing you here will be such a treat!"

"Or a heart attack," Niya added with a smirk.

Suki scowled at her, and Niya tried to look innocent, only in the end looking deviant.

"In the meantime, come in and get settled. How long are you staying? Are you here for some kind of business?" Ritu's eyes were wide.

Suki smiled. "Two weeks, and no. I just graduated, and Burin – my leader – thought I should come home for a while."

"Can't say she was wrong," Ritu smiled. "We missed you."

Suki instantly felt warm inside. "I missed you, too."

Ritu helped Suki bring her luggage in, lugging it into the guest room. Suki protested, but Niya said, "Shut up. We all have separate rooms, now. It's no problem."

For a while after that, the three sisters sat together and just _talked_. They talked about things that were said in letters – graduating from day school, Ritu training to become a midwife and Niya a merchant – and the things that were not – their fears about the Fire Nation, the latest gossip, and the love affairs of both (Ritu had stayed with the same "disgusting" boy from her youth, while Niya had a long chain of broken hearts behind her).

It was wonderful. Her sisters, like her, had grown up – become women, with their own dreams and goals and opinions – and Suki discovered that she liked them and who they had turned out to be.

And later, when her parents came home and found her there, only to (in her mother's case) scream and haul her up into her arms and (in her father's case) hug her tenderly, place a hand on her head like a cap like always, and say softly in her ear, "My little gem, my fierce Warrior..."

And then there was a lot of crying, and a lot of eating, and floods of laughter and fun. It was almost as if she had never left, except, of course, she had.

On the first day back, Suki found herself falling into her old routine, although with some additions. She still woke up with the sun's first rays on her face, only instead of going outside to lie in the grass, she got dressed into her robes, painted her face, and went outside to greet he day with a few light forms. It got her blood pumping and her appetite raging, and she went back to the house to eat and help with chores and errands for the day.

It was a comfortable routine, one occasionally broken by swimming or visits to the market (the townspeople were instantly smitten by the sight of her, and buried her under free fruits and samples). In comparison to the last five years of her life, those two weeks spent at home were like a sweet and relaxing vacation.

Except on the second-last morning of her visit, when her tranquility was interrupted by a highly unexpected – and extremely unwanted – guest.

Suki was just finishing up her second set of five when a slight figure emerged from around the hill and into her peripheral vision. She didn't react or say anything until she was sure that whoever it was was coming her way, and even then she didn't stop until the set was done.

She then closed her fans, stood up straight, and turned to her visitor, only to feel her guts clench and her eyes go wide.

He hadn't grown much, but then, neither had she, really. He was still small and lanky, still cursed with stringy hair and tiny eyes. But the edges were smoothing out, being grown into, and it was easier to see him for what he _would_ be, rather than what he was at the moment. He hunched as he stood, his hands in his pockets. His clothes were covered in dirt.

That should have been her first hint.

"Ranku," she said, sounding as bewildered as she felt.

"I almost didn't recognise you," was his answer. "What, with that fancy paint and pretty clothes. But you're still the exact same, aren't you, _Puki_?"

She instantly tensed, but only showed it in the narrowing of her eyes. "Still holding a grudge?" she wondered coldly.

He glared at her, shifting on his – bare, her second hint – feet in the dirt and grass beneath them. "You're not even _worth_ a grudge," he snapped. "When I heard you were back, wearing those rags, I _knew_ I had to see for myself."

Suki sighed. "And now you've seen, so go away. I didn't ask for your life story. Go home and let it go."

" _No_. You think you're so much better than us, leaving the village and becoming a snotty bitch of a Kyoshi Warrior, but no amount of paint or cloth can hide the coward you are."

It was hard, Suki realised. Hard to back off. Hard to let it go, hard to divorce herself from the personal words and just let them vanish. It was difficult with Sakana, but almost impossible, she found, with Ranku.

Barely, she managed to swallow the anger. Without a word or a look in his direction, she tucked her fans into her belt and turned to walk away.

There was a sound like fingernails being dragged over a countertop, a grating, shifting noise, and suddenly a huge pillar of grass and earth thrust itself up at her. She jerked back, an inch away from behind hit, and she turned around, her hands already back on her fans.

Ranku stood in perfect earthbending stance, a horribly satisfied grin on his face.

"You're an earthbender?" she spluttered out, her fans now out and open.

"Just a late starter," he replied. He backed up, threw up his hands, and held them towards the sky. As if copying him, a chunk of grass-covered rock flew up along to meet him, and with a shout, he threw it at her.

The world seemed to just slow down all of a sudden, as if it consisted only of Suki and the rock hurled towards her. There was one part of her that was confused; after five years, Ranku had had ample time to get over the animosity he held for her. But then, it also meant that whatever resentment he had also had room to grow. Her coming home, successful and a Warrior, must have sparked that into a rage.

That was the logical part of her brain. The other part, the irrational part, the one shaped by emotion, watched the rock come towards her, and all she could think was: _This is the chance I've waited years for, a chance to finally take Ranku down._

That part, the part of her that made her blood sing and her entire body flood with adrenaline and excitement, suddenly took control.

That same slow motion continued, even as Suki adjusted her grip on her fans. Even though she knew she moved fast, she felt slow as she jerked backward, bending her back as she took several steps away from the stone and threw her arms out. The metal of the fans, sharpened daily by her own hands, sliced through the rock like it was cake, and three, not one, rocks brushed past her and smashed into the ground behind her. Once that happened, time seemed to start up again, and in an instant she was facing Ranku in a perfect stance, waiting for more.

Ranku, however, looked thunderstruck. He stood with his hands up over his head, a rock held in mid-air between them, the perfect image of a pending strike... except that he didn't move. His eyes were so wide that they showed white, and his mouth was open, held agape in surprise.

Suki didn't move, wondering if it was some kind of clever ruse. "Expecting me to just roll over and take it?" she snapped out.

"Uh... a bit," Ranku admitted slowly. "I... wasn't too sure."

Suki dipped into a lower stance, flicking her wrists so that the sunlight was caught on the edges of the fans. "Sure, now?"

"Damn," was his answer. With a grunt, he tossed the rock to the side. It clamored onto the ground with a thud of protest, but he seemed to ignore it. Suki waited, still wary of the chance that it could be a trap, but Ranku merely shoved his hands into his pockets and sighed.

"So you're not quite a coward anymore," he admitted, a trace sheepishly. "But," and here he glared at her, his eyes hard. "You're still a holier-than-thou bitch."

Suki rolled her eyes, the thrill of battle leaving her with those words. She folded her fans once more and replaced them in her belt. She stood up straight and sighed back. "Whatever, Ranku. I'm just surprised that you could learn any kind of bending."

Ranku glared at her, and she glared back. Without a word, he turned his back to her and stalked away.

It wasn't exactly the best way to tie loose ends with a former enemy, but then, what was she expecting? That he and she became friends? _Hardly,_ she thought, making her way back home. _But it would have been nice for him to move on._

But then, it _was_ Ranku. She smiled a little. If anything, his acting like an ass was a good indication that it was true what they all say, and that you really can depend on home remaining unchanged and waiting for your return.

Her second home, however, was weeks from changing forever, and she had no idea of it. If she had, she probably would have stayed away to protect her friends, her family... and her heart.


	10. Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writer's Note: Ah, I had a hard time writing this one. For those of you who read "Hanging with the In-Laws", I refer to this chapter as well as the following chapter very loosely. I don't give names, but I make it obvious who it is that Suki speaks of. However, those of you without warning will probably be surprised, but just know that I didn't make this decision lightly. I had to think of a solid, believable reason why Kyoshi would not only be separate from the war, but would also leave a fourteen-year-old in charge. And this is what came out of that. Don't hate meeeee...

It happened in the middle of summer. Fall was weeks away and made itself known in cold nights and chilly mornings. Kyoshi Island went through a slow moment of easiness, its solitude and self-sufficiency shielding it from the harsh realities of war. Men and women rose with the sun, the days easy and worry-free, the rumours of war merely events that happened to others and not themselves.

So it had been, for centuries, even before the war with the Fire Nation. Civil wars and territorial skirmishes never occurred on the Island – only for other people. Their last known conflict came with the birth of their land. They had known no other way.

But war is a cruel and uninvited guest, always unwanted, always making itself known personally to everyone. Reality is never so forgiving as to forget a mere island.

All ten of the Kyoshi Warriors practised together, now – the old and new, the younger and older. All were sisters bound by their craft and martial art. They were the blood of the Island, the symbols of a way of peace and a sure method to honour the Avatar passed.

It was a cool summer day, as the sun sat high in the sky, that Burin, in between sets of forms, announced calmly, "In a week, we will separate."

Only the older girls showed no reaction. To the younger, it was startling and sudden, especially for Suki; she had already gotten used to having Dajana and Rikka join in on practise. Why change it now?

" _What?"_ It was Sakana, of course. "Separate? Separate, _how_?"

Burin shot her a sharp look, and she added, with a gulp, "Sir." Satisfied, the leader answered, addressing everyone. "We all have heard the rumours: the Earth Kingdom is in trouble. Day after day, week after week, we hear increasing reports that the Fire Nation's clutches grown tighter on out lands. We can't ignore it anymore, ladies. Not in good conscience."

Suki swallowed hard, her hands clutching at her fans tightly. It was true, after all. With every trader ship came a report of some kind of violence they had witnessed, and as a result, fewer ships risked the journey to Kyoshi anymore. It was now on their shores, and they could no longer ignore it; it was true.

"Thus, we have been discussing it, us three and myself," Burin went on, gesturing to her three, who nodded. "And we have decided that we will go to the shores and aid in a mission for the Earth Kingdom, and you six will remain and guard Kyoshi."

Silence met these words. Suki felt her guts fall to her boots. _Burin, Duree, leaving?_ she thought, bewildered and even a little hurt. _Leaving for good?_

"Are... are we even ready for that?" Azaki spoke softly, but she held her body rigid. "We just graduated last month. How can we protect the whole island?"

Duree offered a small smile. "With us on the shores, hopefully we will keep any pending dangers from you."

"You're really leaving?" It was Sakana. Her eyes were on her sister, and they were hurt; clearly Dajana had kept this from her.

Dajana lowered her own eyes and nodded slowly. "We have to," she said. "We can't pretend that there is no war. It's... wrong."

"I know it's a huge change," Burin broke in, her arms crossed over her chest. "But we only plan on one mission before we return, just to test the waters and see if we have a place on the mainlands. Maybe a bit of Kyoshi brawn will be enough to tip the scales."

Suki looked away, the meaning of the words clear. Of course that wasn't true, and of course that "one mission" could last as long as years... Burin was as good as admitting that.

"Wait," Suki's head jerked up at the sharp tone, and saw that Sakana's eyes were hard, her face pinched with anger. "You're leaving us leaderless. You can't _do that_."

Burin met her gaze head-on. "Of course I'm not leaving you leaderless, Sakana. Show some sense. One of you will be leader, and will stay as such until we return. This is _temporary_ , ladies!" She threw her hands up in the air in her exasperation. "It's _one mission_ , not the end of the world. You will be fine, and once I return, I'll be leader once more and you will have nothing to fret about."

Duree smiled and put a hand to her mouth, while Rikka rolled her eyes and Dajana sighed deeply, her head still lowered.

"So then..." Mikku's words were for Burin, Suki saw, but her eyes were on Sakana. "Who will be temporary leader?"

Burin lowered her hands, looking over at Duree, who nodded slowly, her smile widening. "Honestly, it wasn't easy," she admitted. "You are all such strong, quick-witted women. But in the end, it really came down to one, and..."

Her grey eyes suddenly met Suki's and she smiled. Suki froze, the blood leaving her entire head, leaving her feeling faint. She sat down on her knees, her gloved hands clutching at her knees.

It made no sense, as far as she could tell. She was a slow learner, was slow to answer and was an outsider. She wasn't interesting or unique like the other girls, and didn't have any extra talents outside of martial arts like they did. She was boring, average, and unwitty... so then... _obviously it's a mistake..._

But Burin's gaze stayed on hers, and slowly the older girl nodded, her smile widening. It was a smile of honest and naked pride, not in herself, but in _Suki_. Suddenly her eyes hurt, and she felt touched to the core.

" _What?"_

Sakana's shout was hard and loud, and her face was livid. "You have got to be on some kind off... _alcoholic influence or something!_ " She threw her hand out and pointed at Suki. "She's a weak, slow-witted _outsider!_ She is _not_ leader material!"

Duree's smile faded, and Rikka rolled her eyes again. Dajana was trying to warn her sister, trying to gesture at her to silence her, but of course was ignored.

Burin stood silent, listening with a blank face.

"You're only choosing her because she's an outsider, just like you!" Sakana went on. _Ah, there we go,_ Suki thought bitterly, the days of good humour and camaraderie between them vanishing into smoke. _All of my own self-deprecation aloud._ "Because she's your _pet project_ , of course you choose her! You ignore the fact that _I'm_ the one who has the most skill, determination, and knowledge! _I'm the real leader!_ I'm the one who _deserves_ it!"

Mikku's voice broke in, sharp and laced with poison. "Shut your mouth," she said slowly. "You're talking from your ass, do you know that?"

Sakana whirled around to face her, but Azaki placed a hand on her shoulder, stopping her. "It's only temporary, Sakana," she said softly.

Iru was nodded, but her hands were held under her chin, her eyes wide.

It was Zayi, however, that surprised Suki. She replaced her fans at her belt, strode over to Sakana, and stood before her, hissing out, "A _real_ leader doesn't even know it. She just _is_ , and only out of her heart does she issue an order, and _not_ out of _personal gain, like you!_ "

Her words were like slaps. Sakana's face fell, and her eyes lowered. Iru spoke up then, her voice small. "Can we stop yelling, now?"

Mutely, Sakana lowered herself to the floor, her head lowered. The other girls followed suit. When there was silence once more, Burin went on, her voice soft.

"All along, I knew it was Suki, although none of you did," she said, her eyes once more on Suki's. Suki felt her whole body start to shake, for hundreds of reasons: fear, excitement, dread... it went on and on. "It's my choice, and that's that. And, _again,_ it's _temporary_ , so shut up, all of you, and stop second-guessing me!"

Another silence washed over them. Suki got the impression that Burin was allowing them to process the information, something she was trying to do, but found herself instead pinching her arm over and over, ensuring herself that it hurt and she was indeed awake.

"Now that it's settled," Burin said, somewhat dryly, "I'll now let you know the details of the mission."

It was designed as a simple coup, or would lead up to one eventually. Burin and her three would start in Chin, skirting it as much as possible while gathering rumours of the war. Once clear of Chin, they would head north towards Ba Sing Se, using either the border patrol or the Serpent's Pass. On the way, they would continue to follow any rumours of occupation and either investigate or mitigate any actual conflict. And once Burin was sure that they had done all they could, they would return to Kyoshi Island.

Suki wanted to cry, really. The plan was a good one, and what they were doing was a good and noble thing, but... It was such a huge and sudden change that it hurt, and finding herself suddenly the leader incumbent wasn't too comforting either.

 _Was this what Burin had meant about changes? How they always happen, even when things look like they'll be the same forever?_

 _I don't think I can do this..._

"When are you leaving?" Azaki wondered quietly, bringing Suki out of her dark reverie.

Burin said, "In a week, like I said."

The younger girls sat frozen, their worlds suddenly thrown from routine and into shaky and unstable ground. Suki's trembling worsened. _I only have a week to prepare? A week to figure this out? A week to try and pretend I know what the hell I'm doing?_

Her face must have shown her thoughts, because Burin suddenly said, "Okay, all of you get lost. We meet again tomorrow for training as usual."

Slowly, the girls, including Suki, got to their feet, making their way towards the doors like sleepwalkers. A hand clamped down on Suki's shoulder, and suddenly Duree was leading her back in. "Not you, Suki."

Sakana's head shot up at this, and on her way out, she sent her the most hateful and spiteful look that she had ever seen.

 _Well, so much for being friends..._

Duree led Suki back to the other Warriors. She stood in front of Burin, and when she looked up, the older girl's face was kind.

"Why?" Suki blurted. "Why me? Why would you do something so stupid? Sakana's right, and now she hates me again." Her voice cracked and she looked away, her arm going to her eyes, angrily wiping away the tears like a child would.

She heard Burin sigh, and when she lowered her arm, the older girl's face was alight with something – pride again, maybe, but also something more – and it made her look younger, half her age almost. "Brave Suki," she said softly, putting her hands on the younger girl's shoulders. "Sakana is _wrong_ , and her anger and hate are results of that. _Trust me_."

Her grey eyes seemed to plead with her, and Suki felt something deep and warm go through her – love for this older woman, an older sister so far away from home, a kinswoman who knew her pain and trepidation – and she just _threw_ herself forward and hugged Burin hard.

"Don't go," she heard herself plea. "I-I have a bad feeling. Don't go, _don't go_."

But Burin, to her dismay, misunderstood her words and thought they were coming from words. "I'm still going, and you will do what you always do, Brave Suki: watch, mediate. Lead them in everything, like practise and sparring. Protect the villagers and keep the peace. You can, Suki, because you _must_."

Suki pulled away slowly, her eyes full. "I can't."

"You have to," Duree broke in gently. "You're the strongest."

All words dried up in her throat at that. She wanted to protest, to scream and deny it, but instead, she realised that, deep down, she felt it there. She felt it, and saw it before her, in the eyes of her comrades. They all believed in her, all four of the older women, and she saw that they had no doubts about her at all.

 _I can, because I must...do what I always do..._

She stood up straighter, sucking in a deep breath before exhaling it slowly, and Burin smiled. "That a girl," she whispered, seeing _something_ in her eyes, but she had no idea and felt too overwhelmed to ask.

Slowly, Suki lowered herself to the floor and prostrated to her leader. She didn't see it, but the older girls, including Burin, all bowed back.

The week was spent in an endless chain of panic and anxiety. Suki spent it mostly at Burin's side, who went through the basic daily itinerary of a full Kyoshi Warrior. Once she had taken notes and made sure she had learned it all, still she pestered Burin on further advice on how to handle being leader. "Do what you always do," was Burin's reply, and she wouldn't say anything beyond that. In the meantime, she had to endure Sakana's razor-sharp glares throughout everything (although the other girls were quick to congratulate her and make her feel better with teasing and cajoling) and also had to help the older Warriors prepare for their journey. The days were long, and yet Suki wished, when she looked back, that they had been longer.

On the morning of the departure, the two groups of Warriors bid farewell to each other, mostly in hugs and kisses and cheers. Burin hugged Suki, ruffled her bangs, and wished her luck, grinning widely. Duree also hugged Suki, adding the gesture with two kisses, one on each cheek, before giggling and poking her nose. It was a small, silly moment, one that Suki would always carry with her deep in her heart and never forget.

Sakana was with Dajana, and to her surprise, she was sobbing openly in her sister's shoulder. Dajana stroked her hair and shushed her, but the sight sent a sharp bite of pity, as well as fear, into Suki's heart.

 _This is real. This is a real war... This is really happening..._

Suki remained on the shore long after the ferry had vanished from sight. Them slowly, she made her way back home, stopping once to gaze up at the statue of Avatar Kyoshi, wondering if she had to live in fear and worry about war, as well as worry about leading when she wasn't ready to lead.

When she passed Sakana's house and heard the muffled sounds of tears, she stopped once more. Sakana had moved to secondary row as well, and her house was no longer directly across from Suki's but it was still close by and on the way.

Suki hesitated, then walked up the steps and to the door. She knocked a little, and when she got to reply, she let herself in.

Sakana was curled up in her bed, her arms around her folded legs and her face hidden in her knees. She still wore her robes but had shed her armour, face paint and headdress. She looked up briefly, her face tearstained and red, and she scowled.

"Piss off, Suki-wag-a-tail," she snarled. It would have been hurtful and probably would have worked, had her voice been free of the tears she had yet to shed.

Suki walked to the bed and sat down on the very edge. Sakana sat up, her eyes blazing and her face crumpled into a mask of pain and rage. "You're _pushing_ it, Suki," she warned. " _Piss. Off!_ "

"No," Suki answered. She held out her arms to her and said nothing more. Sakana lunged, her hands clawed, and the impact of her sudden blows was painful and sharp. Suki winced but didn't move away or leave, and it was then that Sakana uttered a wail, her disappointment and despair breaching her walls and coming free, and she buried her face into Suki's lap and keened, her body wracked in sobs.

Carefully, Suki leaned down, one hand on Sakana's shoulder, the other stroking her hair. "I know," she whispered. "I'm scared, too, Sakana."

Sakana's fingers dug into her thighs as she sobbed, so hard that Suki felt it through the cloth of her robes, but this time she didn't wince. She went silent and held her, realising that perhaps the source of Sakana's rage was not herself, but the entire world. She wasn't a hateful person, not quite; she was just so emotional that _everything_ hurt, and hurt _bad_ , so that truly bad things were pure _agony_.

 _I understand,_ Suki thought, her own eyes filling. _I understand you, Sakana..._

When the older girl exhausted herself and fell asleep, Suki lay her back into her bed, blew out the candles, and left. By then, night had fallen, although Suki felt more awake than ever before. She walked to her house, went in, and just sat on her bed, legs to her chest, her eyes staring at nothing. She was so confused...

In the morning, Suki's mind felt a little clearer, although she still felt that disarming fear when trying to formulate a roster for the day. Duties for the Kyoshi Warriors were usually divided into chores and rounds, and from there were divided into priority and rank. Since they were all of the same rank, Suki and the other girls tended to get the lowest chores and tasks to do, like cleaning the dojo or running errands in the town.

But now that they were the only Kyoshi Warriors left on the Island, suddenly they were promoted to the more important duties that had seemed luxurious before. Suki woke up very early to try and make the tasks fair, but soon realised that the hardest job for a leader was to admit that not all things _could_ be fair, and that there was always a rank and order of how things were to be set up.

For the more personal tasks, she had mostly Azaki and Zayi handle them; they both loved people and were the friendliest, and their good tempers and energy was essential, especially when it came to solving conflicts amongst bickering villagers.

Iru she kept on the cleaning duties, mostly because she asked (actually, the proper word was _begged)_ , and because she was really good at it. Plus, her nervousness tended to make her stutter and forget things, so cleaning seemed like a good match.

Mikku she set in charge of events and trading, commerce and politics – she had a sharp and tactical mind, and the Elder, Oyaji and the other politicians loved to hear her reprimand them with her razor wit and deadpan tone of voice.

And Sakana... that was the most difficult task. Although things were more or less better between them after that first night, Sakana was still somewhat frosty towards her when she had to command, and it was nerve-wracking. She didn't want to offend the older girl, but at the same time, she couldn't play favourites or assign her to something unsuitable for the sake of making peace. In the end, she settled on having Sakana lead the sparring rounds, something that she knew the other girl loved to do – she had a certain flair and thirst for a good fight, and worked the girls hard enough so that each match they learned something.

It worked, oddly enough. Suki had played her cards well, and in the end, each girl seemed to thrive in the tasks given to her. Suki spent her time going in between, shadowing and helping where she was needed, as well as start preparations for the Long Nights (it was never too soon to prepare, and she wanted everything perfect in case the others weren't back in time).

In between all of this came letters. Whenever they came, Suki gathered the girls up and read them aloud.

 _Dear Suki, Mikku, Sakana, Azaki, Iru and Zayi,_

 _We passed Chin with little incident, despite having vegetables thrown at us (Duree cooked them into a nice soup, by the way). Now we journey north. There are rumours of a group of men doubling as a music group in order to infiltrate towns and obliterate them easily. We shall see if this is true._

 _We send out love,_

 _Burin and the Warriors._

And,

 _Girls! It's Duree!_

 _Sunsets are so lovely on the shores! I wish I could paint. We're still following those rumours. Suki! Your family says hello! We passed through their town briefly!_

 _Love, Duree!_

Followed much later by this:

 _Girls,_

 _Met some trouble close to Omashu. A town – or what remained – was recently found by some locals, and it indicates Fire Nationals did it. Will investigate and keep you posted._

 _Burin._

For a while, the letters ceased. Suki was nervous about it, and, indeed, so were the other girls, until Sakana got a letter from Dajana:

 _Saki,_

 _Don't panic, but there's trouble. Not sure how bad, but the Fire Nation around here is extremely aggressive. They hate anyone unknown. Will keep you updated._

 _Love, Daj._

Sakana looked up from the letter, her hands shaking. The other girls shared this look of fear. No one wanted to think of the worst.

"Let's not think about it for now," Suki advised softly. "Now, onto today's errands. Zayi, can you talk to the merchants in the upper-left square? Iru, I need you to haggle for more whitewash; the walls are turning grey..."

For several weeks, there was no word. Suki tried not to think of it like she suggested, tried not to work herself up over what the silence could mean. Instead, she distracted herself and the other girls into the flurry of preparation for the Long Nights. Winter was getting closer, and the world didn't stop for letters.

But at night, Suki was afraid. For hours, her eyes stared into darkness, her heart an aching ball within her chest. And while they said nothing, Suki knew that the other girls, especially Sakana, were scared as well.

A week from he official start of the Long Nights, there was a letter sent via messenger hawk. It was addressed to Suki alone.

 _Bravest Suki,_

 _We… I'm coming home soon._

 _Burin._

Suki puzzled over this, but inside her heart was already sore. It was as if she already knew, but her mind refused to see it, and she thus let herself be led blind.

Two weeks later, as the first snow fell, the last ferry of the season docked at the Island. Suki, Sakana, Iru, Mikku, Azaki and Zayi all waited together, as well as the Elder, Oyaji, and a few others, including Sakana's parents.

Slowly, Burin came into view. Her face, to the shock of everyone, was thin beneath its paint, and her robes bore the marks of battle and wear. She looked up, her eyes searching the crowd, and when they met Suki's the younger girl felt herself age inside. She just _knew_ , and wordlessly she pushed past everyone and broke into a run, rushing up the ramp and onto the ferry, her arms out. Somewhere, in the far corners of her mind, a part of her thought it was presumptuous, the idea of comforting her mentor, but one look at those grey eyes, and Suki couldn't imagine doing anything else.

Burin hugged her, hard, and Suki felt how thin she was under her robes, how she shook constantly, and how empty and lifeless her eyes seemed to be...

"Who?" Suki whispered.

Burin uttered a sound, a small, strangled sound. "Duree."

Suki's world went red, and she clutched Burin closer, uttering a sob of her own. The two women, leaders and outsiders, held each other as they cried, their hearts broken, the only thought they both had being, _No, no, no, no..._

And as they sobbed, four strangers walked past them, carrying a large and rectangular box. As they walked to the shore, a cry went up from the crowd, and suddenly Oyaji just _screamed_ , and... the whole world became a haze of agony and loss.


	11. Ten

Duree was buried on the Winter Solstice. Burin was the main speaker as the residing leader of the Warriors. Her voice was monotone and her eyes were fixed on the grave bearing her second's name. She spoke of how Duree was orphaned at a young age due to illness, raised by her aunt and uncle – Oyaji and his wife – and she grew up loving life and being happy despite this. She went on about how Duree always had a kind word for everyone and everything, and a good perspective in any situation, and how she always thought of others first.

Suki could barely breathe. She couldn't get past the fact that she would never see Duree again, that all she had left were memories of her kindness that were already worn at the edges.

Later, the story came out as to what happened with the failed mission. They had been on the trail of the rumoured town-destroyers, only to fall into the eyesight of the Fire Nation group that Dajana had spoken about in her letter. They were watched for a while, and when it became clear that they were obviously against the occupation, they were challenged. The challenge led into a fight, which led into a battle, and then… all four were left to die.

A few locals heard the battle and found them, bringing them to the local healers where they were looked after and treated. Burin was the first to recover, while the other three were hurt the worst. She watched over them, helped them come along, but Duree wasn't getting any better. While Dajana and Rikka healed, Duree got worse. And while the other two slept, Duree passed out from her pain.

In two weeks, she was gone.

Burin made the journey back with four hired hands to carry Duree with them. Rikka and Dajana were left behind to heal, as they weren't strong enough to travel yet; however, there had been rumours that neither girl would return, although for what reasons, no one knew, not even Sakana or her parents.

On the way back, Burin was attacked twice by either bandits or Fire Nation spies, and both times she was without mercy.

It went without saying that Burin was not the woman she had been when she left. She was smaller, both physically and emotionally, shattered, even, and while she wore the paint and uniform of her status, she seemed detached from it and uncaring about what it meant.

Suki could understand, minutely. Duree's kindness had buoyed her through some of the worst moments of her life, and now she was gone, forever. It hurt inside, so much that Suki could hardly stop crying from it.

The whole island was in a state of snow and mourning. Kyoshi Island had always seemed so safe and free, but the war, it seemed, had finally found it. It was as if no place in the whole world was safe anymore, if Kyoshi Island was no longer invincible. And with the coming of the Long Nights, the dark cloud of grief seemed to stick to everyone's skin. Idle time was spent in mourning. Idle thoughts were dipped in fear.

Suki was lying face-down on her bed, a day or so after the funeral, when someone knocked at her door. She sat up, surprised, since the snow outside was particularly bad, and only a crazy person would brave it. Slowly, she got to her feet, wiped her eyes, and answered it.

A stranger stood there, with a pale face and dark grey eyes. Short brown air poked out from under a toque, and it was only then that Suki realised that this stranger was no stranger at all, but Burin, naked-faced and wearing civvies. With a jolt, Suki realised that, in all of her years on the island, she had never seen Burin without her paint – until now.

Wordlessly, Suki led her in and shut the door. Burin shook out the snow from her clothes and took off her parka and cap, revealing her short hair and thin body. Suki looked at her with pity as well as sadness, and Burin seemed to noticed, as she smiled thinly.

"I know," she admitted softly, her voice hoarse. "But I just can't seem to eat."

Together, they sat down at Suki's small table. Suki made some tea and threw another log on the fire. Burin held the cup in her hands, the dark circles under her eyes cutting into her face like wounds.

"I'm leaving, Brave Suki," she said.

Suki froze, her eyes wide and already full – it was so easy to make her cry these days. "Why?"

Burin stared into her cup for a long time before answering. "You know why, Suki," she said. "Most of me died with her."

Suki's throat closed up and the tears in her eyes fell free. She nodded slowly.

"You have to lead them, Suki," Burin continued. "You're their leader. You see what they don't. Your strength is silent, deadly, and powerful. You have it, Suki," She met her gaze, looking so strange and yet so familiar without her makeup. "You are their best, because you are their strongest. When they fall, you hold them. And when tragedy strikes, you stayed on your feet. I… I fell apart, Suki. And I can't get the pieces back together."

Suki knew. It killed her inside, seeing Burin so hurt without being able to do anything to assuage it. She also knew that the Burin she had known, however, was gone – that much was fact. Staying on the island would be like slow torture for her, and that, above all, wasn't fair. She had lost enough.

 _But it hurts… oh, it hurts…_

"Where will you go?" Suki murmured.

Burin smiled sadly. "I don't know," she admitted. "Someplace far, someplace free. Someplace where I can forget…"

Suki nodded again slowly, her eyes filling once more. Burin took her hand, and she squeezed it. She wanted to say so many things, like how she was nothing without Burin. How without her kindness she would have wasted her life. How she was scared and small and weak and hurting inside…

But she also knew that Burin already knew these things. So there was nothing more to be said.

Burin left at dawn, before the town was awake, boarding the last ferry of the season. Only Suki saw her off, and it was from afar. Once the ferry faded into a blanket of snow, she walked through the blizzard and back towards home, intent on spending the remaining Long Nights in isolation in order to mourn both Duree and Burin.

For a while, once she had settled in, she just lay in her bed, her tears silent and for her pillow alone. After a while, however, something seemed to wake deep inside her breast, and she got to her feet, donned her winter gear, and left her house.

It was mid-afternoon, now, but the anger of the snow and the grief of the villagers made it seem like it was the middle of the night. The entire island was hidden in the deep sleep of both, and Suki felt like she was a lone survivor of some calamity that was slowly taking its toll on her, too. The snow was freezing and hard, and the icy flakes bit into her cheeks, but since she didn't have far to go, she put up with it. She was practically ignoring everything around her, anyway; a few flakes were nothing.

She stopped in front of a large house, the one that stood at the very end of the Warrior barracks. It was the only one facing the statue of Avatar Kyoshi, and it was the only house out of the barracks that housed separate rooms and apartments. It was so large that it was only surpassed by the dojo and the community house.

It was the house for the leader of the Kyoshi Warriors.

Suki walked up the steps, pausing to trace the metal characters of Burin's name on the doorway. They were scuffed and somewhat green with age and verdigris, and Suki realised that she must have been on the island for a long, long time.

She touched the door, hesitating for a moment, then tried the handle. It was unlocked, so she let herself in, quickly shutting the door – and the snow – behind her. She shed her winter gear and walked in, taking in everything around her.

The front room was large enough for a table and four chairs. Close by was a stovetop, oven and sink. Remains of a few used dishes and food were left in the sink, the food practically untouched. There were a couple of broken dishes on the floor next to the sink, and the reason for them was easy enough to guess at – clearly it was nothing to do with food preparation.

Suki's eyes finally adjusted to the dim light, and she was able to see the greater details of the rooms around her. As she passed through the main room and went down the hall, she saw shelves and shelves of statues and figurines, all of different kinds of animals and in no particular order. Most were canine, but all shared a common factor – cuteness.

 _Your knickknack collection as taking over. You_ had _to move._

Duree had said that the first time Suki had come to Kyoshi Island. She managed a tiny smile. _You were so right, Duree._

There as a space in between two of the statues on a shelf, she saw – a fine circle of dust remained where it had stood. Suki paused before it, wondering what it had been, wondering if Burin had taken it with her or maybe broke it in her grief, like those dishes. Surrounding the space was a statue of a badger-mole and a doll shaped like a fox-weasel. That was hardly a hint, though.

Suki moved on, looking around. Burin had lived simply, despite her collections. The walls were bare and the furnishings were dull and undressed. She could tell that Burin just hadn't cared enough to bother with it.

Her eyes fell on a closed door, on that had a small charm nailed to it. She went over and touched it, reading the characters and then closing her eyes tight.

 _Never give up without a fight._

Suki pressed her forehead to the door, intent on taking a pause to control herself. Instead, the small force made the door creak open slowly, and her curiosity got the better of her. She went in.

Burin's bedroom housed more intricate and fragile figurines. Some were made of crystal. Once more, Suki found a few empty spaces here and there on the shelves. The bed wasn't made, a mess of sheets, pillows and a duvet. The fireplace was empty, completely cleaned out, and Suki realised that Burin hadn't it used it throughout the night at all.

She went to the dresser, sitting down on the stool and staring down at Burin's brushes, paints, and hair ornaments. She had simple tastes but still knew how to make them work. She seemed to favour silver and green. Suki touched a silver hairclip encrusted with green crystals.

It was then that her eyes fell on the row of scissors and knives. She blinked, leaning closer, wondering what use they could possible have, until it dawned on her: _Burin had incredibly short hair._ She would have needed ways to _keep_ it that short.

That same feeling washed over her, the one that brought her to this place in the first place. She looked up into the eyes of her reflection, seeing a scared and sad girl looking back. With one hand she reached up and pulled her hair free, shaking it out. With her other, she picked up the biggest pair of scissors.

And she cut. And cut. Her eyes stayed frozen to the mirror, barely seeing the chunks of frizzy brown hair that fell into her lap or onto the floor around her feet, barely feeling it stick to her clothes and skin. She barely saw how uneven her cuts were, how her hands shook and how her eyes spilled silent tears. All she knew was that she was hurting, and she wanted someone, Burin or Duree, her mother or father, her sisters and friends, and she was sick of war, sick of it all, and…and…

It was short work, so to speak. Her hair had always been kept long out of laziness, and thus it was halfway down her back by this time. This made it incredibly easy to just hack it away, and before she knew it, her hair was short, falling crooked and unevenly around her ears and cheeks. Her eyes looked huge, peeking out from behind the short curtain, and even though she had hair everyone, including up her nose and in her mouth, she somehow felt better. Much better, actually, although she had no clue why.

Silently, she cleaned up her mess, throwing the discarded hair into the fireplace to burn later; for she knew that there would be a later, now. As leader, this would soon be _her_ home.

She knelt in front of the fireplace, shivering from both cold and grief. Hugging herself, she made her way back out, pulling on her winter gear and venturing back out into the blizzard once more. Once home, she curled up into her bed, pulled the covers over her head, and finally slept.

Suki had no idea how long she stayed in her house. Since no one dared go out until the snow stopped, it was impossible to even ask how time passed. She ate when she remembered, used the chamber pot when she needed to, and washed when she felt grungy, but for the most part she just _shut down_ , losing all track of time.

After a week, one woman braved both the snow and the risk of Suki's rage, and it was the one woman who was the least likely to do so – at least in Suki's opinion.

Numbly, Suki heard the sounds of musical cursing and the door being kicked open, but she did nothing about it. Even when the door opened and sent in a gust of cold air, all she did was bury herself in deeper.

"Suki," a voice snapped out. She ignored it.

"Suki!" It was louder this time, and closer. Suki turned away from the sound.

" _Suki!"_ A hand grabbed onto her shoulder, the grip so hard and tight that it jolted her into sitting up and jerking away. Azaki, dressed in full uniform and paints, pulled her hand back, her round face pale and a little thinner. Her eyes went huge at the sight of her. "Wh- _What did you do to your hair?_ "

Suki sighed, closed her eyes, and went to burrow back under the covers. Azaki lunged out and grabbed her by the front of her pajamas, bringing out a squawk from Suki and a reminder of how strong Azaki really was, before she scowled and jerked away from her again. She didn't move to hide, so Azaki sat down beside her on her bed.

Suki looked down at her hands, noticing for the first time how broken and bloodied her nails were. She sighed again, lowering her head, suddenly ashamed. She _knew_ why Azaki was there, and it shamed her.

 _Everyone needs me, and I hid away. I should have been strong, and I was weak instead… what kind of leader am I?_

Azaki cupped a hand on her cheek. She looked up into the older girl's sad hazel eyes. She wore a small and kind smile. "I don't have to tell you, do I?" she wondered.

Suki shook her head slowly, and Azaki took her hand away. "I know," Suki admitted, her voice gravelly with disuse. "I-I'm sorry, Azaki." And here, her voice broke.

Azaki smiled wider. "I know. But no one else does. You should probably tell them, too, don't you think?"

Suki nodded once more, reaching up and pushing her hair out of her eyes. Azaki watched her with fascination. "What did you do to your hair?" she repeated.

Suki blushed, her hand still. "I…dunno," she admitted.

Azaki smiled kindly. "I can fix it for you. You don't want to look like that and expect to be taken seriously, do you?"

For the first time, Suki laughed. It was small, and short, but it counted. It mattered.

Azaki was right, and in no time she had managed to smooth out the edges and layer it into a smooth cap of hair. Suki then, with shaking hands, dressed into her uniform, her eyes filling and spilling over every once and a while without her control.

However, once the paint was in place and her headdress was tied on, she looked into the mirror dry-eyed. The short hair made her look older, more confident. She felt lighter, freer, and she wondered why she hadn't done it years ago.

With a smile, Azaki took her hand and led her from her house. The bright and snowy sunlight was blinding, but it was also like a caress; she had missed the sun, more than she even realised.

When she stood in front of her house, she was shocked to find the other Warriors there, in full uniform as well, waiting expectantly for her. The sight of them made her heart ache, and she was immensely grateful for how waterproof her makeup was.

Azaki went to join them, leaving Suki alone on the front steps. All of the girls shared that same pinched and sad look, and all seemed thinner and more fragile. But she could also see that deep within their eyes was a fire that only needed a spark of words to blaze to life. _And,_ she realised, _I'm the only one who holds those words…_

A few of the villagers at the sight of her stopped what they were doing as well to look over. More pairs of eyes fell on her and, deep inside, the old Suki, the scared and weak girl she had been, shrank away from the attention, yearning for a place to hide.

But the Suki she was now, the Warrior and leader, stood up taller and held her head up high. In a loud, clear voice, one she didn't even know she had, she addressed her women and her villagers together. Her voice attracted others, until soon everyone within hearing range was held spellbound.

"My fellow Warriors, my kinswomen. Townspeople, blood of Kyoshi. We have had a terrible loss, a wound that feels that it will never heal. We have lost two of our own, wait for two others to return, and the weight bears down on us like heavy bricks in our grief."

She took a breath, her heart racing and her eyes full, before continuing. "We are still licking that wound, but in time, it _will_ heal. Duree…" Here her voice broke, but she managed to swallow it. "She fought for our cause, for the rights of the Earth Kingdom. But she didn't die in vain."

Suki paused suddenly, a wave of… _something_ …rushing up from her guts to her throat. "We are _Earth Kingdom!_ " she shouted. "Kyoshi Island is separate, but also a _part_! We _cannot_ forget that Avatar Kyoshi was an _earthbender_. We cannot forget out duties, our responsibilities, our honour as a part of this Nation!"

She looked around, startled to see so many faces staring up at her with bright eyes and small smiles. "What Duree and Burin started, we _must_ finish," she said, clenching her fists at her sides. "We _must_ honour them. We _must help our Kingdom!_ " She threw her hands up in the air. " _We must never give up without a fight!_ "

When hundreds of voices that were previously silenced by grief rose up to join hers, the tears fell free. She smiled widely, cheering with them, her Warriors also joining in with shouts and calls especially loud and fierce.

The words and shouts woke up the entire island, and a fire was lit that day. Almost everyone was ready to join the fight against the Fire Nation, with Suki as their commander.

And she felt ready to do it, too.

But then, merely hours later, Oyaji announced an edict through the deputy mayor, one that silenced all cheers and extinguished all fires, and indeed any hopes of winning the war. Suki was so angry that she actually went to his estate, unable to even so much as think of etiquette at a time like this.

" _Why?_ " she shouted, standing in the middle of his receiving room. He sat on one of the couches, staring up at her with a grey face "Why would you do this? Why would you close the borders?"

Oyaji got to his feet, his eyes hard. "My niece is dead," he spat. "That is not enough of a reason for you?"

Suki didn't wince. "We can't just roll over and do nothing, Oyaji!" she protested, her voice sounding so desperate, even to her ears. "We can't just close ourselves off from the world!"

"Our first foray to the shores in decades brought us nothing but sorrow, Suki," he answered, and to her surprise, his voice was softer. "I know you mean well, and really, your desires and passions are admirable, but we cannot risk it. Until the war is over, Kyoshi Island must remain _neutral._ "

"The war will _never_ end unless we fight!" Suki cried. "If we do nothing -,"

"You are not elder!" Oyaji snapped out, cutting her off. "My word is final, Suki! The edict stands and the borders of Kyoshi are _closed – permanently!_ "

Suki felt like she had swallowed molten rock. "War has a way of finding its victims," she murmured, still not quite believing what had just happened.

"Not if we do not choose a side," Oyaji answered. "We are done here. Leave me, Suki. Please."

She looked up and for the first time saw that he, too, had aged from the loss, and he too still hurt, just like she did. Only instead of desperately wanting revenge, he wanted peace and time to heal.

Wordlessly, she bowed to him and left, feeling numb and disheartened – the one time she finally had the courage to get to her feet, she was knocked down…

Her eyes narrowed, hands once more clenching into fists at her sides.

Maybe Oyaji was right in a way – the island _did_ need time to heal and make peaces with itself. That way wasn't wrong, and she knew it.

But she also knew, somehow deep in her guts, that the war would not ignore Kyoshi Island forever. If the Fire Nation ever succeeded in conquering Ba Sing Se, they would not rest until every speck of land bore their insignia. Kyoshi was not impervious, no matter how "neutral" they remained.

Suki was always taught to trust her guts, by both her mother and by Burin. She knew that, somehow, it would all catch up to her sooner or later.

She strode away from Oyaji's estate with her eyes fixed forward. When she passed her Warriors, Zayi stopped her. "Suki?" she said, her eyes wide. "What's going on?"

She told them. They reacted just like she thought they would – fury, indignation, frustration – and she added, "But we're not stopping."

That made them pause. Sakana smiled slowly. "Oh?"

Suki smiled back. "We're not stopping. We will do our duty. We will be neutral, support Oyaji and our Island. But will we be like viper-rats, and we will be sharp and ready to strike when it comes."

Iru shivered, but her eyes danced with nervous excitement. Mikku put a hand on her hip, looking sly, and Sakana tossed her hair over her shoulder, a smug smile upon her lips. Azaki smiled mysteriously, a sugared blade, and Zayi, of course, applauded.

"We can't forget," Suki added, her smile faltering for a moment. "But we can't give up, either. When the time comes, we need to be ready for it. And…" She hesitated. "When it does, can you all trust me as your leader?"

Sakana held out a hand wordlessly. Suki blinked, then gingerly took it. Then Azaki reached out and cupped her hand on Suki's. Iru followed, then Zayi and Mikku. Their hands formed a pile of gold and green, sacred and old, powerful and endless.

"Together, Leader Suki," Sakana said drily. "Till you lead us off a cliff."

Suki smiled, placing her other hand on Mikku's and squeezing them tight.

 _Never again will any Kyoshi Warrior blood spill for the Fire Nation,_ she thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writer's afterthought: So now we stray into canon. The next part will cover "The Warriors of Kyoshi", exploring events before and after the Gaang crash the Island and Zuko has a tantrum as a result. I don't usually use page breaks in this story, but in the next few parts, of course, I'm going to have to, since time and such is rather sticky in between the parts I want to explore. And because I'm dealing meticulously with canon and want it to tie in neatly together, these parts are going to take much longer than usual (especially not as frequent as the last three updates). So, uh yeah.
> 
> Also, I wanted to thank you guys for reading this bizarre little project of mine. I had no idea starting out what kind of reactions I would get, and it's nice to see so many positive reviews and thoughts! Thank you all so much for reading my long-winded scribbles!


	12. Eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Occurs during and after "The Kyoshi Warriors" and contains spoilers.

Suki really didn't know _what_ to think. After a year and a half of relative peace and calm, mediocrity and routine, it was bound to be confusing and startling to discover that, quite suddenly, that period of boredom was over.

She and her Warriors had kept their pact; even though the borders were closed and Oyaji refused to change his mind, the Warriors still kept fit and kept the traditions alive. Suki really didn't have high hopes that Oyaji would rescind his edict any time soon, but she still felt that someday, like she predicted, it would catch up to them all eventually.

So when one of the border scouts – men and women who monitored the activity on the shores and kept an eye our for ships and traders – burst into the dojo and shouted out her name so loud that it caused her to drop her fans, the furthest thing from her mind was that someone had arrived and the time was _now_.

" _What,_ Keiko?" Suki snapped, irritated that she had been interrupted in the middle of a form.

"I'm sorry, Suki, but there's a group of people on the shores!" Keiko answered, her face pale.

Suki frowned. "Well, so?"

"They're _outsiders,_ Suki!"

Suki stared, not quite sure if she had heard right. Slowly, she turned to look at the others, who were already staring back at her with the same bewilderment she felt.

"How many?" Mikku broke in, stepping forward.

Keiko winced. "Three, some kind of monkey, and some huge furry thing!"

"Huge furry thing?" Sakana snorted. "Are you sure you don't have sunstroke?"

"Like…like a huge…I don't even _know_ what!" Keiko threw her arms up in the air. "With arrows…and one of them is riding the koi!"

Suki's eyes widened, a faint chill going down her spine. Wordlessly, she turned to the others, who still stared at her, clearly waiting for her orders. "Did they come on ship?"

Keiko shook her head. "We saw no hint of a ship anywhere."

"Does Oyaji know?" she asked.

Keiko nodded slowly. "Yes. The other scout ran to tell him."

Suki pressed her lips together. If Oyaji knew, he would, without a doubt, feel panic or fear at the news. She had to reach the shores first, just in case these visitors were _only_ visitors.

 _But then,_ she thought darkly, _Kyoshi's luck hasn't been that great._

"Suki," Sakana's voice broke into her disparaging thoughts. "Your orders?"

Suki met her gaze, noting that if things were normal, Sakana would have coupled that with something sarcastic. It woke her up, and she stood up straighter.

"Keiko, go alert the other villagers and keep them out of the way." The other girl bowed, then ran from the dojo. "Iru, Sakana – take the left side of the beach. Mikku, Azaki – take the right. Zayi, you're with me – we'll take the middle. Eyes on me, wait for my signals, and do _not_ allow Oyaji the first move. Understood?"

All five nodded, sharing the look of fear and trepidation, but also showing iron strength. It was how Suki felt, too.

"Let's go."

* * *

"They can't stay."

Suki frowned, her arms crossed over her chest, her eyes narrowed. "Oyaji, they _have_ to stay. One of them is the _Avatar_ , the only hope for our whole world!"

"So he _claims._ "

"He's an _airbender,_ Oyaji. No one else in this whole world can airbend. Of _course_ he's the Avatar!"

"Suki, they can't stay." Oyaji's eyes went hard, boring into hers. "Outsiders bring nothing but trouble."

A stab of resentment and fury shot through her. She slammed her palms onto the table before him, losing her temple. " _I'm an outsider!_ " she shouted. "And so was _Burin!_ Am I – was she – nothing but trouble, too?"

Oyaji winced, looking away.

"I understand your fear, and I respect that. But we can't push them from our shores." She sought his eyes again. "With the Avatar here, we're safe. He's our last hope."

Oyaji sighed deeply. He said nothing for a long time, and Suki was close to losing it again. But he finally spoke. "Very well. They can stay as our guests, and we will welcome them as such. But I will be wary, Suki." He closed his eyes. "I can't help it."

"I know," she said softly. "And I promise, in the moment of trouble, we will be there."

* * *

Suki's exposure to the opposite sex was rather sporadic. Other than Suihou, no boy had ever expressed intent or interest in her – and even Suihou's interest was platonic. She was plain, she knew, and she also was a bit anti-social, since her thoughts were always on being a Warrior, and thus her mind had very little room to spare for boys.

Therefore, when Sokka knelt before her and her Warriors hours after being verbally and literally spanked by her, she was surprised. She didn't know what to make of him, really; his sexist attitude and arrogance was reminiscent of Ranku, but there was also a kindness in him, one that showed around his sister, Katara and the Avatar, Aang.

 _And wasn't_ that _enough to deal with?_ Having to be hospitable to the Avatar who had been rumoured to be dead for a century, without having to wonder about foreign boys who knelt in front of her in complete submission?

But – and this was a huge _but_ – it took nerve and guts to not only come back to the place of recent humiliation and apologise, and it took even greater guts to admit ignorance and beg to be educated.

However, Suki also knew that outsiders had to follow tradition – _like it or not._

"Wait a second…" Sokka's voice was something of a squeal, muffled by the privacy screen set up for him in the dojo. " _This is a dress!_ "

Beside her, Sakana twitched. "Oh, let me kick him," she hissed into Suki's ear. "Please?"

Azaki smacked Sakana's shoulder, even when the other girls sniggered.

"You want to learn? You have to learn just like we did," Suki answered Sokka, her voice impassive.

The sound of a groan, followed by rustling and curses, followed.

"Do you really think this is a good idea?" Iru whispered. "Teaching an outsider like this, and a _male_ , no less?"

Suki shrugged. "We'll dress him up, humiliate him, and then dash any further thoughts of learning our ways." She raised an eyebrow. "It takes years to master our art, remember? And I'm starting him in full robes and paint. Of _course_ I'm not serious."

"Seems kind of mean, don't you think?" Zayi broke in softly. "Making him think we're sincere, only to pull a prank on him."

Mikku nodded. "I agree. It's mean."

Azaki pressed her lips together, looking away. In that, Suki knew she felt the same.

Sakana, however, smirked. "I think it's _brilliant._ "

 _That_ was like a splash of cold water, needless to say. "Okay, all of you, _get out_ ," Suki snapped, waving her hands and pushing them away and towards the door. There was a flurry of protests, but Suki added, "I need you to make sure the village is still safe and that the Avatar is comfortable, okay?"

It was true, and they knew it, so they – grudgingly – complied.

When they were gone, Sokka poked his head out from behind the screen, his dark face pale and pinkish. "Are we alone?" he asked in a tiny voice.

Suki had to swallow her giggles. "Yes, come out."

He did, gingerly; the robes fit him but were a little long, and his body, though slight and thin, was proportioned all wrong for the robes to fit perfectly.

And, it didn't help that he looked _miserable_. "Do I _really_ have to wear this?" he wondered, looking and sounding like he was suffering under a form of torture.

"Yes," Suki answered flatly, walking over to the corner of the dojo and opening a cabinet. Within was a chest of spare paints, made for post-workout touch-ups. She pulled it out and went back to him. His icy blue eyes followed her every move with some wariness.

"What's that?"

"Paints."

He paled, then backed away, holding up his gloved hands. "No. Way. I'll wear the dress, but I'm not wearing some kind of girly-girl makeup!"

Suki glared at him. "That's rich, coming from a man of the Water Tribe."

Sokka blinked in surprise, his hands lowering a few inches. "What?"

"It's not _girly-girl makeup_. It's _war-paint._ We don't wear it to look _pretty_ – we wear it to ready ourselves for _battle_. The same thing that your _men_ do before war!"

"Hey, it's _not_ the same thing!" Sokka protested. "We…ah…assume the guise of a mighty arctic wolf. It honours the spirit and cunning of the beast that knows more about war better than any man. You…there's no animal that looks like that!"

"Avatar Kyoshi wore these paints to signify that she was like a spirit, herself," Suki explained tersely, unable to keep the bite of annoyance from her words. "Red was for both the passion and thrill of the hunt as well as the blood that would spill. White was for purity as well as the paleness that comes with death. Kyoshi knew what war was, and, as her Warriors, so do we!"

Sokka lowered his hands completely, his face paling. Suki hadn't realised she was yelling until that moment, and while she was a little embarrassed, she couldn't help it; insulting her martial art was insulting her whole way of living.

Suddenly, it wasn't about humiliating him anymore. All she wanted now was to teach him, just like she had been taught. She wanted to teach him the beauty and deadliness of her martial art. She wanted him to understand and to _learn_ something from it.

"I'm sorry," Sokka said softly, and he looked it, too. "You're right – I shouldn't have judged without knowing."

"That's right," she snapped. "You shouldn't have. Now sit down and shut up."

Surprised and without any protest he did so, kneeling down in front of her and looking up with large eyes. With a frown, she sat down, setting the chest beside her and opening it. She stirred the paints, tested the thickness, then picked up a brush and held it up, her eyes on his.

"You need to sit still and stay quiet," she said. "Can you do that?"

Sokka's eyes sparked a little; clearly, he wanted to say something in response, but wisely, he merely nodded.

She reached out and took hold of his chin, leaning in close. She dropped the brush into the cream first, gently brushing it over his skin. She kept her eyes narrowed, finding herself slipping into a kind of comforting reverie that always came over her when she painted. Because of this, she missed the darkening blush on his face, the increase of his pulse under her fingers, the nervous swallowing, and the slight shifting of his legs.

Despite these small moves, Sokka kept himself relatively still while she painted his face. The dark skin disappeared beneath a coat of white – even the shaved sides of his hair stood out and became more defined against it – and his eyes, already so light and bright, seemed to shine against the red and black.

When she went to paint his lips, he jerked back, uttering a kind of embarrassed giggled. "Okay, that's good, don't you think?" he wondered, his voice high.

Suki grabbed his chin again, digging her fingers in, and he winced, adding a couple of whiny squeaks. _Cute,_ she thought, her lips twitching a little…and then she blinked, surprised by her thought. _Cute?_

But then, even in the paints, as he was squirming under her grip like he was being tortured, it was hard to ignore the fact that Sokka was cute.

Feeling her cheeks heat up a little, she dragged his face back and held him still. "All or nothing, tough guy."

He pouted, but said nothing. With a smirk, she started on his lips, finding that the pouting only helped her with the application.

 _And,_ she saw, _he has really nice-looking lips…_

Her cheeks felt like they were on fire, and she was relieved that her paints hid it. "Stop being a child. You're the prettiest man in all of the Water Tribes."

He groaned, and she laughed. She already considered him one of her own.

* * *

 _The Fire Nation..._

All of her life, Suki had feared them. They were brutal conquerors, ruthless and deadly, foes with fire that burst from their very _bodies_. Nightmares were tamer than reality when it came to them.

 _And now they're here, on my shores,_ she thought from her perch on one of the rooftops, her heart racing. It was so easy to claim Kyoshi Island as her own in the face of danger, so easy to forget that she wasn't born here, especially now, when the whole island was depending on her.

She held up a hand. At both sides, her Warriors made themselves visible to her, so silently that her heartbeat eased slightly, the sight comforting. Even Sokka, at her side, was silent, his eyes wide but like steel beneath his paints.

Deliberately, she held up her other hand, holding a closed fan. With one flick of her wrist, it opened, making her threat clear.

And from the rooftops, they descended down onto the threats below.

* * *

It took hours, but Suki and the rest of her Warriors managed to finish cooling the buildings that had burned and extinguish the flames on the few embers that remained. Once that was finished, Oyaji began issuing orders to everyone – the first time in years – which effectively kept everyone, villager and Warrior alike, busy.

Deep into the night, Suki was finally able to call the other Warriors back into the dojo. All five looked as exhausted, worn out and depressed as she felt. None of them looked at her, and to her shame, she didn't look at them, either. She felt too humiliated.

After a long time, Suki murmured, "We have a lot to learn."

Sakana was the first to reply, her voice sharp. "We could only learn what we were _taught,_ Suki," she snapped. Suki looked up and saw the fury on her face. "If anyone is to blame for this, it's _you!_ "

Both Zayi and Mikku opened their mouths to protest, but Sakana wasn't deterred. Suki met her eyes without flinching, taking in every word. "You _knew_ that we're in the middle of a war; that much was obvious when we had to bury Duree. None of that changed when Oyaji closed the borders, and you _promised_ we would stay strong for when the war came to us. We were only following your orders, Suki. You should have taught us _better._ "

Suki took all of this without breaking her eye contact with Sakana. Her cheeks burned with humiliation and shame, but she didn't protest or fight back. She couldn't.

"Sakana, no one was expecting the banished prince of the Fire Nation to show up," Azaki murmured. "No one expected anything like this happen."

"We're _Warriors_ , Azaki," Sakana answered, not looking away from Suki. "We should be ready and expect _all_ kinds of battles, _no matter what_."

"Sakana, shut up," Zayi hissed.

"Seriously, shut your mouth," Iru added, her high voice even higher with stress.

"Really," Mikku agreed. "If it had been you, I'm sure you would have done it the exact same way, if not worse."

"Enough," Suki broke in, sighing and closing her eyes for a moment. She knew that their bickering came from their disappointment, and not from personal hate, but it was still just as painful. Slowly, she got to her feet and opened her eyes.

She held out her hands. "I'm the first one that will admit my mistakes here," she said softly. "I know that I've failed not only Kyoshi, but you as well. I know that it was my fault and there is no one else to blame. You're right in everything you say, Sakana." And here she looked at the older girl – really and truly _looked_ at her – and saw the pain and shame deep within.

"So, if all of you agree, I can step down right now," she said finally, her eyes still on Sakana. "What I have done could have led us all into death. That is not worthy of leadership, and I know it."

"Save it," Sakana snapped without hesitation, her eyes narrowing. She then looked away, her mouth forming a small smile. "You know you're the best one out of all of us. You can't give up now."

"Yeah," Iru agreed, her voice going even _higher_ with sudden enthusiasm. "We all make mistakes. We have to keep on going and push past them."

Azaki nodded slowly with a smile, and Mikku grinned. "But we're only allowing you this one mistake," she teased.

Zayi clapped her hands together in front of her, her smile bright. "She's kidding - we can allow three!"

Deep down inside, a small and selfish part of Suki wanted to scream at them, suddenly. It shocked her, this sudden bubble of fury – _You're all so 'confident' in me as leader because you don't want to be in my place! –_ and dimly, she realised that the whole day's events had shaken her, deeply. She wondered if she would ever get past her this and start feeling okay again…

She kept her face carefully blank despite how sick she felt inside. She loved them all, so much, but this was the first time, she knew, that she had ever resented them.

However, now was not the time or place. "Thank you," she said honestly, unable to keep a small tremor from her voice. "It means the world to me that you still trust me enough for this, but we all know that the fact remains: we still have a lot to learn."

Iru tilted her head to one side. "So what are you suggesting?"

Suki sat back down. "This is where I speak to you as a fellow comrade and not as your leader. I need your opinion about this, and I want to make it clear that it's a suggestion, not an order."

Mikku smiled her slow and lazy smile. "Well, you've got us interested, now."

Suki smiled back weakly. "I was thinking; we're so inexperienced because we're isolated here. Oyaji made sure of that, but now it's obvious that staying on the island doesn't give us the life experience, let alone battle."

Sakana cupped her chin in her hand. "What are you suggesting, Suki? That we go into the Fire Nation and challenge the Firelord?"

Suki rolled her eyes. "No," she answered, feeling the tension easing – just a bit – from Sakana's teasing and acid wit. "I'm saying we should try and help the other nations, just like Burin thought to do. Right now, there are dozens of smaller targets, hundreds of villages under Fire Nation rule, but the biggest target is Ba Sing Se."

Azaki nodded. "Exactly. If they capture Ba Sing se, they win."

"Right," Suki agreed. "I know it sounds like I'm merely following Burin's ideas and in the end will get us killed as a result, but I have no doubt in my mind that we will not end up that way."

"Why?" Sakana asked flatly.

"Because Duree's death was something that Burin and the others hadn't had in advance to learn from," she answered, her voice hard. "That reality check was powerful and painful, but in the wrong way. Oyaji was _wrong_ , and now we need to get out there, not to _fight_ , but to _protect_."

"Explain the difference," Sakana answered.

"Burin and the others were intent on _fighting_ the Fire Nation. All I am proposing we do is find ways to help the Earth Kingdom stay strong – act as guards or police or escorts – _without_ direct conflict." Suki clenched her hands on her knees. "Because direct conflict is what killed Duree."

There was a silence, broken only when Iru whispered, "It's scary. I had never thought of it before."

"That's how we know it's been put off for too long," Sakana broke in. "The sooner we head out, the better."

Suki started, her eyes meeting Sakana's in surprise. "So…you would be willing to come with me," she said carefully. The older girl nodded, her eyes like liquid steel, and with a jolt, Suki suddenly understood why; _she wants to either find Dajana…or avenge her._

"What about the rest of you?"

Zayi nodded. "Of course. I like new things!"

Mikku rolled her eyes. "You're not going to be able to just _ditch_ us."

Azaki frowned. "Don't even ask or go there."

Iru looked up shyly. "I want to come, if you'll have me."

Suki looked down, her hold on her knees tightening. Her eyes burned, and any last trace of doubt and resentment vanished. When she looked up, her eyes narrowed and she set her jaw. "Then we go," she concluded.

Five smiles met her gaze, and she smiled back faintly.

 _Oh, Burin, I really hope I really and truly have learned from your mistakes…_

* * *

A week later, when Suki was sure the village had recovered, she led her Warriors to Oyaji's home and told him of their decision.

Oyaji's face was impassive, but his eyes darkened before closing. Suki stood before him, flanked by her Warriors, her head held high. They all wore backpacks and bedrolls, a line of strength.

"The Avatar and his comrades have it right," Suki said. "Travelling the world and trying to help people, rather than hiding away to preserve ourselves, is the proper way to do things. We can't sit back and do nothing any longer. The Avatar has _returned_ , Oyaji." Her voice was close to a plea. "Hope has returned to our hopeless world, and we need to help in any way we can to maintain it."

The other Warriors were silent, trusting Suki to speak for them in this delicate situation.

"Oyaji-," Suki started again, but he held up a hand, his eyes opening again. He looked very old, and very sad. "I can't stop you, Suki," he said. "No force on this earth can stop you, now. Anything I say would do nothing."

Suki closed her mouth. It was true, after all.

"But _please_ , Suki. _Please._ When you come across danger, do not fight it. _Run away_." He stared at her, his eyes so dark in their sorry that it was easy to be held spellbound. "I cannot bear to bury any more Warriors."

Suki shut her eyes briefly before nodding slowly. "I know," she whispered.

"Then I recommend you start close to your home village," Oyaji said, his voice stronger now. "See if they need help, then make your way up to Ba Sing Se, stopping at all towns and villagers on the way. Do not underestimate, and do not linger in dangerous places. Be smart."

Suki nodded again. She bowed, one hand over the other and before her, and her Warriors did the same. "Thank you, Oyaji. We will send our progress to you as it comes."

"Just…stay alive," he answered.

Suki nodded a third time, then turned to look at the others. With that look, her Warriors filed out of the house and towards the shores, ready to board the first ship set to leave the beach in years. But it was certainly not the last.


	13. Twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writer's Note: I have no idea what kept me from updating this story for so long. Maybe I just wasn't feeling it, or maybe I was just lazy. Either way, I really hope that this will end up six-month long updates =X

Suki found herself unable to sleep. She and the other girls had made it to the shores of Chin and managed to avoid the same harassment that Burin and Duree had dealt with. Now, camped on the outskirts, Suki and the girls wound themselves out in the open for the first time in their lives, and it was humbling and scary.

This close to home, Suki had toyed with the idea of going home again, but she changed her mind eventually, unsettled and wary of having to tell of Kyoshi's failure against the Fire Nation attack. _I'll just send a letter,_ she resolved eventually.

The truth was that she honest had no idea what she was doing. She knew in her bones that leading her girls out into the real world was the right thing to do... but now that she was here, she found herself confused instead.

She was seated on one of the many impressive boulders that littered the shores. The night was cold, but she had her fur-lined parka to keep herself warm. The skies were clear, and a sliver of moon grinned at her from the depths, almost like it was making fun of her.

Suki sighed. It was close to the New Year already and she still had no idea what to do.

The crunch of footsteps startled her, and when she turned towards it, she was surprised to find Zayi standing there, looking small and cold against the backdrop of tents.

"You're up?" Zayi wondered. "How come?"

Suki patted the rock beside her in reply, and Zayi came over and sat down beside her. They spent a moment staring out at the calm water, lost in thought, before Zayi broke it again.

"Why are you awake?" she repeated, turning to look at her, her eyes wide and dark in the dim light, her small face obscured by waves of hair. "You should be sleeping."

"So should you," Suki replied lightly, trying to smile and failing.

Zayi's eyebrows drew closer in thought. "Okay," she agreed slowly. "But that's the leader of the Kyoshi Warriors speaking. Why are you, Suki, awake?"

 _Damn,_ Suki thought, biting her lip and looking away. _She always knows how to get me to talk._

"Fear," she admitted, her eyes fixed on the blanket of stars. "I've led us all out into something huge and unknown. I know it's the right thing, but... I'm still scared."

Zayi's hand on hers was small and warm, callused from years of weapons-training and dry from the cold night air. Suki looked back at her and saw that the older girl's eyes were kind. "We all are," she agreed. "But we'll find our way. Together, we always have."

Suki smiled ruefully, loathe to admit that she was a foreigner and hadn't always been a part of that "always". "You trust me?" she wondered, her doubts coming out in flat words. "Even though I'm an outsider like Burin, who led Duree to her death?"

Zayi's hand let go, but only because she moved closer to put her arms around Suki in a sideways hug, her hands clasped together at her shoulder. With her head on her other shoulder, Zayi said, "Idiot. You're a Kyoshi girl, through and through, and always. No one sees you as anything else anymore."

Suki didn't feel the tears until they dropped onto her hands.

"We trust you," Zayi continued. "We believe in you. Give yourself that same benefit, will you? One lost battle doesn't make you a failure."

Suki lowered her head, one hand going up to touch Zayi's arm. Zayi held her closer, and the tears fell long into the night, witnessed only by Zayi and the shores.

* * *

"Omashu?" Sakana blinked, her mouth full of dumpling. Suki made a face at her, but the older girl was nonplussed. "Going to Omashu will take us weeks without rickshaws or carts!"

"So?" Mikku said blandly, leaning back and shutting her eyes against the bright morning sun. The tents were already collapsed and rolled, and the fire was all that remained of their temporary home on the shore. They ate a small meal of dumplings stewed in broth, worried that their supplies would run out and eager to keep frugal. Mikku had finished early and was already bored, so she baked in the sun while the others finished.

"So," Sakana swallowed, pointing her chopsticks at Mikku. "If we run out of food, we're doomed."

"Don't be stupid," Zayi broke in. "This area is pretty populated, even this close to the waters. We'll have plenty of opportunities to keep our food supplies up."

Azaki sipped her broth a bit before speaking. "I can understand where she's coming from," she admitted, a trace shyly. "Who knows what kind of trouble we could run into? Remember what happened with Burin? That group of thugs that razed towns?"

A silence fell over them as they remembered, the pain still fresh. Sakana's eyes blazed, and Suki suspected that her thoughts were of Dajana, and her disappearance.

 _I have to help her find Dajana,_ she promised herself.

"Not to mention," Iru broke in shakily, her hands around her tea cup trembling a little. "... that they were the ones who... the ones who..."

"Enough," Suki broke in. "If we allow ourselves to soak in fear of what could be, we might as well go home to Oyaji and give him new ideas on how to pine. All we can do," she said, picking up her bowl and chopsticks as she spoke, "is keep going. Burin and Duree knew that."

Another silence, this one longer. Suki didn't look up her bowl, somewhat afraid of what she would find - _are they glaring at me? Sulking? Wishing I wasn't here?_ \- and hating her own cowardice.

Sakana's voice broke in. "She's right," she admitted, sounding irritated by the thought of it. "We need to keep going."

When Suki met her gaze gratefully, she was met with a slightly cold - but honest - smile. She smiled back.

* * *

Omashu it was, initially. But of course Suki should have known that things never went according to plan.

"We're lost," Iru moaned in dismay, her eyes huge on her small face.

Sakana glowered and aimed a kick at her, only to have her foot meet empty air as the other girl darted away. Sakana cursed and stumbled against Suki, but Suki merely helped her back to her feet, dismay blooming deep within her breast.

The thing was, Suki knew for sure that Iru was right. They had been walking along the edges, keeping close to the shores, when suddenly she realised that doing this was completely missing the point - in order to help the Earth Kingdom, they had to be in it. So, on her orders, Suki and the girls veered into the Kingdom proper - and got lost.

To her credit, Iru didn't say anything until a good two days into being lost, but it was obvious from day one into the sojourn that they had no idea where they were going.

And, what was worse, was that the New Year was fast approaching, and that meant the Long Nights were right around the corner, closer than Suki had expected.

The Long Nights were a phenomenon for Suki, having never been exposed to them before her move to Kyoshi Island. They were treacherous, cold, and immobilizing, guaranteeing long and huddled weeks before a fire deep in the nest of a bundled house.

Suki knew better than the other that the Long Nights on the mainland were tame kitten-monkeys compared to the lion-apes of the Island, but it was still a worry, since they needed a secure place to stay until the worst was past and they could travel safely again.

Iru's panic was entirely understandable - and contagious - but Suki knew that, as leader, she had to keep calm and think fast. Already the nights were icy cold, the days hardly better...

 _Calm, Suki. Keep calm._

"Yes," she said finally. "We are definitely lost."

Mikku crossed her arms over her chest, her expression dark. "Suki, you know what could happen if we stay lost."

"Yes," Suki repeated slowly. She looked around, the expanse of frost-coated trees and a blanket of leaves encasing the hard-packed ground like a rough and multi-coloured blanket. For hours they had come across no change in the scenery at all, not even a break or a meadow or a town. It was as if the whole world had changed into this forest in one go. She tilted her head up, catching patches of grey sky amidst falling leaves and naked tree limbs.

"Suki?" Azaki called, her voice soft and gentle, as if she were trying to coax an animal close to her. Suki turned to her and realised that they were all staring at her worriedly - even Sakana.

She closed her eyes for a moment before answering. "I know we're lost, and I'm sorry. It's my fault, but we need to keep going, keep our eyes open."

"For what?" Mikku broke in suddenly. "There's nothing here."

But Sakana's eyes were on Suki's, her expression suddenly open and very close to vulnerability. Her lips were parted in shock, and without question it was clear that she knew what Suki was doing, and was grateful for it. Wordlessly, she nodded to Suki - a silent consent.

"I was following Burin's old route, to be honest," Suki said finally, surprising everyone but Sakana.

"Are you _kidding_?" Mikku snapped. "You could have gotten us killed!"

Iru's hands were held to her mouth, but she was angry. "You said we were headed for Omashu!"

Suki took it calmly. "We are," she agreed. "But... there's just one thing we have yet to resolve, and it's not like we won't be getting there eventually."

Zayi started. "Dajana and Rikka!" she blurted out in shock.

Azaki's eyes lit up brightly, turning towards Sakana and placing a hand on the older girl's arm. Mikku reddened a little, mumbling an apology, while Iru closed her eyes as if the very idea pained her.

Suki nodded slowly. "I'm still sorry we're lost, but I'm more sorry I wasn't up front."

"S'okay," Mikku muttered. "But now what? The Long Nights are coming and we need a place to stay."

"That's the problem, isn't it?" Suki agreed, gazing up into the leafy canopy above.

"Well," Zayi broke in. "We might as well make camp for tonight, don't you think? We can keep going again in the morning."

"One tent tonight," Suki advised. No one argued, since it saved time and also conserved heat and kept everyone warmer and safe.

As they prepared for the night, Sakana edged closer and closer to Suki, trying to be subtle about it. When she reached Suki's side, she reached out and grabbed her hand, holding it hard. Suki looked over, and Sakana wasn't looking at her, despite her firm grip.

"Thank you," she whispered.

Then she was gone, slipping her hand out of Suki's and making her way back to the others. Suki watched her, feeling warmth deep within her, finally feeling like she was doing the right thing.

* * *

In the morning, Iru's face was grey with worry. "Girls, this is the last of the food."

Everyone stopped what they were doing, staring at her in disbelief. Sakana glared, her eyes blazing. "Don't you think you could have mentioned that before we cooked it all?"

Iru went red. "Sakana, we still have to eat."

Sakana threw her spoon at her in reply. Iru tried to get away, but the spoon ended up bouncing off of her head, bringing a squeak from her. But then something hardened in her eyes and she glared back, holding her head high. "You're acting like a foolish child," she snapped. "This was inevitable, and yet you insist on acting like an idiot?"

Sakana leapt to her feet. Iru followed suit, leaning back and holding out a hand, waving it towards her. Both girls reached to their sides and pulled out a fan, flipping them open.

Suki reached out and grabbed Sakana's ponytail, then reached out with her other hand and grabbed Iru's left ear. Wordlessly, she pulled, her face blank. Both girls seemed to dissolve in her grip, sharing a squeal of pain. Mikku leaned back and out of the way, and Zayi covered her mouth - although why, Suki wasn't sure.

Azaki, however, crossed her arms, her eyes narrowed. "Let them fight," she said,, her voice cold. "They want to be children? Let them squabble like children."

"No," Suki snapped. She let go of the two girls, who winced and rubbed their sore parts respectively. "We are not on the Island anymore! We can't afford to do this, so stop it, all of you!"

Suki didn't mean to shout. She never did. But somehow, most of the time, she ended up yelling anyway. She was just so tired of the bickering. It was different on Kyoshi, when they were taken care of and could afford to goof around and take time for foolishness. But here, out in the open, these were their lives, their entire lives, on the line, and she felt the same frustration and upset that caused them to lash out to begin with.

But it worked, all the same. They stopped, staring at her with surprised and wary eyes. Unexpectedly, Suki felt a bite of long-buried resentment course through her, but she choked it back - she couldn't afford that, either.

"After this, we have no food, so that means we keep our eyes open for anything edible while we walk," she continued. She kept her voice calm and even, despite feeling anything but. "Our plans stay the same, got it? Keep your calm, or go home."

The other five girls stared at her wordlessly, now looking scared. She stared back. They had to learn to trust her, to believe in her - because otherwise, how could she possible even think of doing the same for herself?

 _It's already so hard..._

"Pack up and let's go," she said finally, her voice hard and conclusive.

She found herself saying nothing more for hours to come.

* * *

For a day and a half, they were without food. They gathered as much edible plant as they could, but the small efforts did little to shake off their hunger.

Suki had to remind herself to stay hardened about it. Deep in her gut she felt guilt and worry, but she choked them off - she had to. If she didn't, those feelings would win. And if they did, the whole group - not just her - were all lost. And that was the one thing she would never allow.

Nearing the end of the second day, it was Sakana who spotted the dim glow of distant light. She uncharacteristically yelped and pointed, her eyes flashing and her grin wide. She was so excited and hopeful that no words came, which oddly cheered Suki up a bit.

When her excitement caught the attention of the other girls, Suki didn't even fight or protest when they all broke into a flurried run and left her behind. Their voices carried through the opening copse, and she watched them run. The sight comforted her, made her feel less like the failure she had thought she had become.

When she caught up eventually, she was surprised to find a little hamlet of a town buried under the trees and bushes. Simple dirt pathways snaked around houses and merchant booths, but the rest of the place was covered in thick and browning grass. The buildings themselves were well-kept, made of wood and stone, lacking any whitewash but still looking clean. If she had to guess, Suki would have surmised that only fifty or a hundred people lived there - if that.

She heard the familiar sound of her Warriors laughing and she smiled, following it to a large and welcoming-looking in. She peered in and found them sitting at a table together, one that was already covered in plates of food. Suki suddenly felt her own stomach clench in hunger, and she sighed, mentally counting the coins in her purse. They would take a huge hit, but considering how low morale was, she figured she could take it.

"Suki!" Zayi called, her mouth full. Suki looked over and saw that all eyes were on her, and everyone finally looked happy and content.

Sometimes it was hard being a leader, she thought, smiling and walking over to the table. But when your warriors look at you like that, with hope and joy, it's hard not to be a leader. It makes it all worth while.

* * *

"What?" Suki blinked, her chopsticks hovering close to her mouth. "A local dojo?"

Mikku nodded, looking excited. "Just in this town! They only take a few students a season, and I thought, with the Long Nights coming and all, that maybe we could check it out?"

Suki swallowed her food. "You didn't sign anything, did you?" she asked sharply.

Mikku looked away guiltily, and Suki sighed. She usually could always count on Mikku's common sense and logic to see the girls through, especially in case of Suki's absence, but apparently those few minutes Suki spent idling in the woods was long enough for trouble.

"What about going to Omashu? Or Ba Sing Se?" she asked calmly now.

Sakana snorted. "We'll never get there before the snow falls," she said dryly. "And it's better to spend our time keeping fit in a dojo than getting fat anywhere else."

"Plus," Azaki chimed in softly, "you're always saying how it wouldn't hurt to keep learning." She met Suki's gaze, her expression frank. "Anything we can learn to keep strong is one advantage we have to succeed."

All were good points, really. Suki looked at Zayi and Iru, who were quiet. "What do either of you think?" she asked them.

Zayi was easier to read than an open book. Her eyes shone, and her grin was wide and silly. Iru, however, looked quietly unsure, her gaze to the side.

"I just..." she said softly. "I guess I'm still a little afraid. I just want to be as careful as possible."

Suki nodded, covering Iru's hand with her own, forcing the older girl to meet her gaze. "Believe me," she said gently, "I know. I promise I know. The last thing that will happen is anything that could get us into trouble."

Iru nodded slowly. "Then I guess it's fine."

"So do I," Suki agreed, pulling her hand away. "Let's go see the dojo."

* * *

The same student that had spoken to Mikku greeted the group at the doors. When Suki admitted to expressing interest for them all, the student looked so flustered that he stammered and ran off to find the teachers.

"Kinda makes me miss Suihou," Zayi murmured wistfully, watching the boy vanish into a backroom.

"Disgusting," Sakana muttered. "If he had come along, we'd all be soaked day-in and day-out."

Suki laughed a little with them, but inwardly wondered when they would get this over with - she was exhausted, and her full stomach was making her sleepy.

The student returned, looking terrified. "You'll have to come back tomorrow," he stammered. "The ladies have retired for the night."

Suki blinked. "This dojo is run by women?"

He nodded, then bowed. "I will see you tomorrow!" he declared, almost as a plea.

As they filed out, Suki thought about this, amidst the girls complaining and speculating on their back back to the inn. As far as she knew, there weren't many women martial artists in the area, and certainly it wasn't as common in the Earth Kingdom as a whole, and least not this far south.

 _Could it be Rikka and Dajana? Could they have survived and made a living here?_

The thought kept her up for most of the night, though why, she never found out.


End file.
